cross-posted from: https://reddthat.com/post/46807163

Since this post posted in /c/womensstuff, a community that prohibits male participation, showed up on the front page of All I’m cross-posting it to a space where men can chime in and answer/discuss it freely.

  • Ice@lemmy.worldOPMEnglish
    414·
    2 months ago

    Whilst I wouldn’t call it “walking on eggshells” - I’ve had my perspective invalidated in discussions based on my perceived identity (majority culture, male) on more than one occasion.

    I’m also part of an “invisible” minority which does necessitate actually “walking on eggshells” in certain contexts.

    It is a bit disheartening that my being part of an invisible minority somehow makes my personal perspective “more valid” to some people. Every person is an individual, and personal, lived experiences are so much more important than demographic markers and groups.

    • Trainguyrom@reddthat.comEnglish
      103·
      2 months ago

      There is a trope of the well-meaning white man speaking for women/minorities instead of letting woman/minorities speak for themselves

      Whether you found yourself unwittingly acting that trope or just happened to get on the bad side of a misanthrope it’s important to try to learn from such an experience so that you can be a better ally

      • Ice@lemmy.worldOPMEnglish
        5·
        2 months ago

        Only think I’ve had this happen with a proper misanthrope (irl) on one occasion, an acquaintance, friend of a friend - self-proclaimed “Hates all men” type and very blatant about it. That one was certainly interesting.

        Most often however it’s simply the assumption that I can’t have experience with certain things - often not said outright but it shows in small comments or body language. In these cases it is usually unintended and people don’t even realize it themselves. I don’t take offense, instead elaborating/clarifying. But, it has given me a lot more compassion for my fellow men.

        be a better ally

        I don’t strive to be an “ally” or towards any other particular label. What I do strive towards, aside from the happiness of myself and my loved ones, is having a net positive impact in the world - leaving it a better place for future generations and making it a nicer place for the people living in it.

        • blarghly@lemmy.worldEnglish
          31·
          2 months ago

          Also not a fan of “being an ally”. I think gay people should have rights, sure, and I support them in pursuing those rights. But it is quite clear that “ally” means “second class” in these spaces. It means “your opinion will always be lesser than someone else’s”. And that’s not my kink.