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Screenshot of a Tumblr post by nongunktional:
when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue
to all the men out there not getting laid: try less hard to get laid and try more hard to be an enjoyable and relaxing presence
Well this is just… Wrong. The “loneliness epidemic” doesn’t just have to do with getting laid. What an absurd take.
Having sex is just a part of it, because lo and behold sex is a healthy and normal part of the human biological process.
However, ask a man what it’s like trying to make friends. Or if they made any new friends as of late… Or in the past 5 years. Yes, just friends, not sexual partners.
You’ll find a lot of guys past the school phase and into the work/career phase haven’t made any new friends. If you’re a man with a career then congrats! You probably have money. But no real time to make new friends, get back in touch with old friends, or find someone to date. If you’re a man with work, but not a career, you’re probably broke most of the time. Too broke to go or do anything.
Even men in relationships, having families, can suffer from loneliness. Yeah, you got a wife, abd maybe a kid… but you still need friends!
An issue with this loneliness problem is that it’s not taken seriously, and dismissing it as “Oh it’s just a sex thing. Git gud.” is exactly that. Not difficult to see how something like the so-called “manosphere” can swoop in; religions, cults, and similar find the lost, stuck, and disenfranchised easy prey.
I don’t understand the not making friends thing. I’ve made a string of friends in the last five years, and continue to do so. And I am a socially awkward, ADHD, anxiety raddled, sometimes annoying as fuck, mess. Maybe it’s because I own it and just stopped caring what people think of me and they can fuck off if they don’t like me being my genuine self? I dunno, all I know is that I do my best to approach people openly, kindly, and treat them like I’d like to be treated back and it largely works for me.
Maybe that has something to do with it for some people, but generally no.
Most guys can’t afford to go places. Or they work so much just to get by that when they’re finally done at the end of the day there’s just no energy left.
It’s a society issue, not a personal issue.
Ok let’s not pretend that the specific term “male lonliness epidemic” doesn’t specifically mean that low-effort men are pissed that women have standards now and are finally able to follow-through by way of having enough money to stay single. If people are using that term it refers to thay situation and you can’t spin your way out of it.
What you said is generally correct but it’s still their fault. I’m a man who, while unemployed at the moment, has consistently been able to make new friends and have new experiences while having a career. Men are stopping themselves from having new experiences that would lead to making new friends. Worse still, many of the people in North America who are experiencing these issues and crying about it are the same ones who blindly follow the white picket fence path and are confused at why their overly expensive, isolated suburban home makes them broke and leaves them isolated from social activities. I know a lot of men here in the city who are having a fine time because they’re actually interesting people who do stuff, and who put themselves in situations where stuff happens.
Our cities are built like shit and the men don’t fucking try. Then they bitch and moan that people don’t just drop out of the sky because their whole life they’ve been brought up on some complete nonsense and can’t reconcile the fact that they were lied to.
What a disgusting person you are.
Why? Because there are a bunch of people who do the bare fucking minimum and expect women and friends to fall out of the sky? I was going to say “low-quality” but decided that I didn’t like the connotation of that. “Low-effort” instead gives people a chance to put some effort in themselves.
Cry about it, I guess.
Tjose are all guy problems that only guys have that are worse and have fewer solutions for guys, absolutely.