That’s the best way I can describe it. Just neverending. Which sounds obvious but the actual experience of always having to parent, phew…
I’m not having the best day today. He’s on summer break and hanging with me all day. We did okay yesterday but today it was just a domino of me feeling disappointed in myself that the house is always a mess and probably a level beyond that, like there’s too much stuff to fit. But my own level of non-cleanliness has rubbed off on my kid cause there’s no proper place to put his stuff. So I started cleaning then asked him to do some small tasks but I was feeling resentful for how he seems to just drop things wherever. I get it, you also got to teach them how to clean up and implement chores etc. and thus adds to the relentless grind of having to have these long term parenting plans but also try to be present in the moment and enjoy things and somehow have endless stores of patience. Today I definitely haven’t. I’ve lost my shit and yelled and just let things domino out of control into a terrible grouchiness. I know some days suck and we get up and try again. Just wanted to get it out I guess. No advice needed. Just ranting to rant.
Definitely at least 2 generations in my family. I spent a lot of time at my grandparents houses as kids but they were not actually doing any childcare.
I think it also has to do with living further away from family becoming more normal. My parents swapped a lot of parenting time with my aunts & uncles - most of us lived within the same 3 town radius. I now live almost 5hr drive from my family so we can’t just swing by Uncle’s house for a few hours.
Yeah, it’s going to depend on location and that’s a factor. But also people having kids later in life and so grandparents being less physically capable to act as consistent carers.
I remember when I was in school people were having kids so early and so late that I knew multiple kids who went to school with their uncles. Maybe not on the same grade but definitely being in the same school at the same time as their grandparent’s youngest.
I’m not saying it was better, I’m saying it made it easier, particularly with people’s first kids earlier in life.
Having kids later makes sense too - my MIL is almost 70 and my dad & FIL are 65, and we just had our first kid. I’m turning 30 next month so I’m still pretty average age but definitely not 18 like my grandma was for her first!