So before anything I’m a trans woman (20), I do not claim to be a real woman or try to put women down or mock them. So please I’d like to ask you to abstein from comments about it because I already know what I am.
I’ve been trying dating apps because they feel safer than just dating people from your daily life when I was a teen (friends and classmates).
I do have a note on my profile that notifies these men about what I am before they can chat with me, some unmatch, others will say bad stuff before leaving, but another big amount stay. Everything goes fine we chat for a long time, we have a few dates, but in the end they all seem to lose interest at some point.
It just makes me so tired of meeting a lot of different men every month. I don’t understand what they want.
My best guess is that they were open to the idea but ended up realizing it’s not for them - and then feeling too uncomfortable to communicate it properly?
Since you’re tired of dating apps here’s an alternate suggestion: Go over the hobbies you have, and find which ones have IRL communities - and then join them. Hell, if you find communities for hobbies you don’t have but seem interesting to you, try em out.
An important mindset to have is: DO NOT go in with the expectation to find a partner. Go in with the goal of just socializing and having fun, but don’t force it, its “doing fun stuff with like-minded people”, not “scouting for a partner”.
From there on, the more people you are exposed to, the likelier you are to stumble upon someone you click with romantically. You would also be surprised how many people find partners through mutual friends.
Okay the issue here is, I’ve done this before and it didn’t work. And right now I’m not on a stage where I want to expose my transness to my social circle, what’s most likely to happen if I tell a guy who is into me is that he will be shocked and tell a lot of people. Also there’s barely any men interested in my hobbies unless they’re gay
Completely fair, it is unfortunate society is the way it is. The frustrating part is that what we desire is located somewhere within that society, and there is no way around having to engage with that society in order to get it. Hardship is unavoidable.
We fight tooth and nail for the smallest morsels of happiness. It is not fair, it is not worth the effort, but what other option is there?
I wish you good luck.