I dunno if this is the right place for this, but I was curious. I joined Beehaw during the Great Reddit API migration, a few years ago at this point. I couldn’t put a finger on why but I wanted to join a queer-friendly space. It just seemed like a good place to be, somewhere that seemed to have goals of inclusivity and being kind to one another that I thought sounded good. I wanted to belong somewhere like this place seems to want to be.
Then, years later, in Nov of 2024 my egg absolutely shattered and I came out to myself as trans. Then I just realized this morning that the timeline is kinda funny to me. Thought I’d ask and see how common that pattern was.
Hi, fellow (at the moment) hetero, cis man 🙂
I mostly share your point of view and feelings, with a couple nuances. I’ve never felt strongly about my own gender, but still hate toxic masculinity with a passion. I’ve often chosen to pose as genderless just to avoid being associated with the “stereotypical man”, but I’ve come to think that one doesn’t need to be queer just to denounce toxic behaviors. There are some, few, role models of “positive masculinity”, that one can follow, without changing labels. I don’t think that “men” should let the toxic ones monopolize that label; positive masculinity should reclaim it, and push the toxic ones out!
As for gender, sexuality, attraction… they’re all on a spectrum, and not necessarily at a single fixed point, or intensity. Artistic sensibility is on its own, also not necessarily related to the others. I don’t think that simply being able to appreciate a beautiful man, or woman, or lamp post, is enough to call oneself “queer”. We may not be like the “stereotypical macho man”, but that doesn’t mean one should renounce whichever label resonates more with oneself.