I hate to be the old dude in these conversations — but yeah… sometimes you just fucking deal. 90% of my life is depression, suicidal ideation, and intrusive thoughts. Ten percent is that I’m the life of the party, the fun guy at work. Honestly, in meetings, when it’s been dark, execs turn to me and say, “Wow, silver lining?”
And I deliver.
So… I don’t complain. I raise a family. I exercise. I see depression as the norm. Why would I think anything else if it is all I have ever known?
And yet of course there are the brief moments of satisfaction when I am doing service for others — which is how I see my work, which makes my life meaningful.
Cure for depression? Ain’t one. But there is service, which is the cure for meaninglessness.
You can get meds for this. If you’re on them and this is where you’re at, I’m sorry. But I was like you. I could function.
Then I needed meds for something else, and they stuck me on Wellbutrin, which can be perscribed to address depression or my other issue.
I came back to the doc and she asked if it had helped with my other problem. “Nope, but can I stay on?”
“Why?”
“Uh, turns out wanting to be hit by a bus isn’t normal, and I had just assumed it was, and had no idea I was dealing with that constant mental hellhole until it went away.”
Hmm… yeah, you can tell I’m skeptical of the chemical solutions.
I’m of an age where tracking my own hormonal changes is hard enough without adding any variables. But I appreciate your thoughtful recommendation. And I’m absolutely delighted you know longer deal with the whole sudden impulse to fall in front of a bus. I’ve never jumped but the thought comes… it’s comfortable now I guess. I don’t know who I’d be without it.
You can make a family with friends and neighbors and helping out some organizations/volunteers doing things you care about. As you surround yourself with folks who share your interests, the family aspect takes shape.
I’m sorry, I couldn’t understand what you mean by “service”, English is not my native language. I’m not in the army or religiously celibate, I was just given a pretty bad hand of card by life. Too dumb to find a good job, too ugly to find a wife.
By “service” they probably mean something closer to “community service”: volunteering to help out your community and the people in need around you. Many people find it quite fulfilling.
I hate to be the old dude in these conversations — but yeah… sometimes you just fucking deal. 90% of my life is depression, suicidal ideation, and intrusive thoughts. Ten percent is that I’m the life of the party, the fun guy at work. Honestly, in meetings, when it’s been dark, execs turn to me and say, “Wow, silver lining?”
And I deliver.
So… I don’t complain. I raise a family. I exercise. I see depression as the norm. Why would I think anything else if it is all I have ever known?
And yet of course there are the brief moments of satisfaction when I am doing service for others — which is how I see my work, which makes my life meaningful.
Cure for depression? Ain’t one. But there is service, which is the cure for meaninglessness.
People are generally missing service in their lives. Thanks for the comment, from another old guy.
You can get meds for this. If you’re on them and this is where you’re at, I’m sorry. But I was like you. I could function.
Then I needed meds for something else, and they stuck me on Wellbutrin, which can be perscribed to address depression or my other issue.
I came back to the doc and she asked if it had helped with my other problem. “Nope, but can I stay on?”
“Why?”
“Uh, turns out wanting to be hit by a bus isn’t normal, and I had just assumed it was, and had no idea I was dealing with that constant mental hellhole until it went away.”
She let me stay on the Wellbutrin.
Hmm… yeah, you can tell I’m skeptical of the chemical solutions.
I’m of an age where tracking my own hormonal changes is hard enough without adding any variables. But I appreciate your thoughtful recommendation. And I’m absolutely delighted you know longer deal with the whole sudden impulse to fall in front of a bus. I’ve never jumped but the thought comes… it’s comfortable now I guess. I don’t know who I’d be without it.
I wish I had a family, maybe life would be worth living.
You can make a family with friends and neighbors and helping out some organizations/volunteers doing things you care about. As you surround yourself with folks who share your interests, the family aspect takes shape.
Yea maybe I should try that
Where are you doing service?
I’m sorry, I couldn’t understand what you mean by “service”, English is not my native language. I’m not in the army or religiously celibate, I was just given a pretty bad hand of card by life. Too dumb to find a good job, too ugly to find a wife.
By “service” they probably mean something closer to “community service”: volunteering to help out your community and the people in need around you. Many people find it quite fulfilling.
Oh, I see. Thank you for explaining