Yesterday, my boyfriend was very stressed and was going through a lot of family issues. I told him I couldn’t stay for long. My family is strict and wanted me to go to bed and not be on my phone. My boyfriend then was asking where I was and why I was offline and not responding. He must not have seen my message but I had to go. And I feel so bad that he didn’t read it and that I had to go, I feel like such an awful person for not being able to help. I know I suck, I know I just could’ve snuck it, but I just want someone to listen. Not criticism, please, like many people have said.

  • NOT_RICK@lemmy.worldEnglish
    10·
    5 days ago

    You shouldn’t ever feel bad for having healthy boundaries.

    I would say that as an 18 year old you should have more of a say in how and when you use your phone, but I don’t know the specifics of your situation.

  • dingus@lemmy.worldEnglish
    6·
    5 days ago

    How old are you? You don’t sound like a bad person. I’m sorry your bf was having a rough time, but did you explain what happened? I would not necessarily recommend sneaking around your parents if it can end with you getting in trouble. If your boyfriend cannot be understanding of that then it is not healthy behavior on their end.

    • BoyTrouble@lemmings.worldOPEnglish
      3·
      5 days ago

      thank you so much. I’m 18, he’s 24. i told him i couldn’t be there because i had to go to bed but he didn’t seem to read the message

          • dingus@lemmy.worldEnglish
            2·
            5 days ago

            Oh! Then you’re not a bad bf and it doesn’t sound like a toxic relationship (well from that minimal info anyway…could be other things going on)! Like the other user stated, it is a bit odd how your parents are still controlling your phone usage, but other than that it sounds like everything is ok! Don’t worry about it! Miscommunications happen!

            • DacoTaco@lemmy.worldEnglish
              3·
              5 days ago

              What @[email protected] said, but also take him for a picnic, ask him to explain and talk about what happened with the family issues and why they had a bit of a panic. Treat them to something if you feel sorry and want to be there for them. It might be late but it shows that you care and that, within your limits as a person and situation, you try to be there.
              It would have been better to not do what i said and have been there from the beginning, but every person and situation is different and thats the magic of (romantic) relationships, get to know the person and learn what priorities need to be set in your life and how the other lives/responds!

              Youre not a bad person, youre only 18. Youll learn and get there @[email protected] !