I’m in my 40s and it feels impossible at this point. I’m lucky enough to have found a SO that I feel safe to open up with, but I just physically can’t, having spent most of my life packing myself into an emotional bunker. My brain overloads and shuts down, and all I am able to articulate are meaningless cop-outs like “work was stressful” or “I’m just a little tired”. My means of expression are limited to the range between indifference and anger, because the rest of the emotional spectrum was abandoned to atrophy from childhood to young adulthood.
I’m at peace with it. At this point, all I want is to do what I can–however little–to help anyone I can reach avoid the same outcome.
I understand what you mean. I used to be the same way but I made an effort to try and open up more and slowly over time it became easier. It is exactly that - a learned skill that takes practice. I don’t believe it’s too late for you or for anyone, for that matter. It’s just a matter of practice over time.
But I VERY much respect your desire to help others nonetheless. That’s exactly what I feel too. We’re lucky to have you here in this community, thank you for being here!
You’re right, of course. I spent a long time building into this frame of mind, and it will take a long time to get out. I’m making that effort too, I just wish I could have started sooner.
I didn’t actually mean to start venting in my last comment - what I wanted to get at was that it’s especially critical for this community’s message to reach boys and younger men so that they can begin that process earlier in life, or obviate it altogether. I wanted to describe that feeling of being boxed into a narrow range of socially-acceptable male emotion, in hope that it will resonate with someone and kick-start their desire for emotional growth.
I really appreciate you creating this space. Managing an online community is hard, and success only makes it harder. I wish you the best of luck going forward.
I’m in my 40s and it feels impossible at this point. I’m lucky enough to have found a SO that I feel safe to open up with, but I just physically can’t, having spent most of my life packing myself into an emotional bunker. My brain overloads and shuts down, and all I am able to articulate are meaningless cop-outs like “work was stressful” or “I’m just a little tired”. My means of expression are limited to the range between indifference and anger, because the rest of the emotional spectrum was abandoned to atrophy from childhood to young adulthood.
I’m at peace with it. At this point, all I want is to do what I can–however little–to help anyone I can reach avoid the same outcome.
I understand what you mean. I used to be the same way but I made an effort to try and open up more and slowly over time it became easier. It is exactly that - a learned skill that takes practice. I don’t believe it’s too late for you or for anyone, for that matter. It’s just a matter of practice over time.
But I VERY much respect your desire to help others nonetheless. That’s exactly what I feel too. We’re lucky to have you here in this community, thank you for being here!
You’re right, of course. I spent a long time building into this frame of mind, and it will take a long time to get out. I’m making that effort too, I just wish I could have started sooner.
I didn’t actually mean to start venting in my last comment - what I wanted to get at was that it’s especially critical for this community’s message to reach boys and younger men so that they can begin that process earlier in life, or obviate it altogether. I wanted to describe that feeling of being boxed into a narrow range of socially-acceptable male emotion, in hope that it will resonate with someone and kick-start their desire for emotional growth.
I really appreciate you creating this space. Managing an online community is hard, and success only makes it harder. I wish you the best of luck going forward.