Honestly I really appreciate having a throwaway account to ask these sort of personal questions to other comrades in a well-meaning community.
Here’s my living situation, regardless of current disability (still not gone btw if anything it’s morphed now lol)
I’m 31 and live “at home” in that the house is technically my parents’. However, they themselves work and live abroad, so it’s just me and my 2 brothers living there for most of the year. Parents come back once in a while to see family and hang out.
When people ask I try to remember and say my brothers and I are housemates, basically. I feel the word housemate/roommate has a more ‘serious’ tone, like more grown up lol than saying “I live with my brothers”.
– Before proceeding, what are your thoughts on this so far? –
I ask because now at 30 I feel that I’m “stuck” there, still living with my parents, even though they only come back a few times a year. I feel like I should outgrow this at my age, do everything like an adult, so I’m wondering what the good people of lemmygrad think when they hear about this living situation. Is it off-putting, is it smart, or do you just not care?
I feel like I’m still living in my childhood home, in my childhood town, with my parents, even though as a kid I only lived in that house for like 3 years before we moved away for work lol. I came back in 2012 and have been living here non-stop since then, I have never rented my own place or tried moving out. I think some part of me is scared of doing it, but that’s another topic lol.
I guess it’s a source of shame in some aspects to still be in that living situation at my age. It feels like people my age are having their own families, have been living alone and working since their 20s, and I’m here not ready to take the plunge at 31.
Despite this I remind myself that I’m otherwise completely independent, aside from the rent situation. Well, I don’t pay all the bills but people don’t need to know that lol, and it wouldn’t be a huge dent to split the internet bill three-way. But I pay my personal bills (groceries, phone, health insurance etc). I also get access to the car they leave here but I fill the gas. I guess that’s another source of shame, when I drive and friends ask about the car and they learn it’s my parents car lol. I’m not sure they even care, but I feel like I’m not performing up to expectations, you know? Like I’m seen as a kid, or someone who refuses to grow up and take responsibilities.
People here did multiple considerations. Don’t feel any rush to move out, work on your financial stability, and since you have time, I’d invest in education. Masters, doctorate, specializations, or any additional skill that you think are useful for you. Ah yes, since you have free time, why don’t you use it to organize, as well? Join a group, build relationships with other people. I think this is what is actually missing in your life.
Think, if your parents were in a position where they need your help, can you do this right now or at least in the next 10 years? If you had any kids or wife, can you provide materially for them? I always have this priority, my kids, my family and then my comrades.
Aside from this, if I had time, I’d use to study, to learn, to meet people, to organize, to agitate etc. Don’t let the social conventions fool you. They were made to enslave, not to free you.