“I like you but I don’t think I can deal with this anymore. I really don’t like talking to people and I can’t commit. I’m sorry. I’m not going to break up with you, I just don’t like talking. I like you, but you wear me out.”
But then he still says he loves me and that I’m the only one for him and that no one can take me away from him? i don’t get it?
he hurts me all the time, it’s like the song tainted love says “Sometimes I feel I’ve got to
Run away I’ve got to
Get away
From the pain you drive into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
And I’ve lost my light
For I toss and turn, I can’t sleep at night” and “i love you though you hurt me so”
I’m a stranger in the internet so I can’t say for sure but this doesn’t sound like a normal loving relationship.
From the outside it sounds like your partner pushes you away and/or says mean and hurtful things and then changes tune and tells you how much they love and care about you. Someone that loves and cares about you wouldn’t put you through that constant roller coaster on purpose.
If my armchair judgement is correct and if this behavior is purposeful then I would say your partner is boarder line emotionally abusive. If I’m correct but it’s huge emotional swings outside of your partner’s control then your partner might have problems that need treated with therapy and maybe medication.
Again, stranger on the internet, not a therapist.
thank you so much!! He has been depressed with anxiety lately
As someone who lives with depression and anxiety, I can assure you that neither of these things justify being an asshole to people who you supposedly care about.
While you can be supportive, it’s still on him to put in the actual work to manage these and any other issues (getting professional help as necessary) in order to best hold up his end of the relationship and deserve you. If he isn’t ready and willing to do that, he isn’t ready and willing to be in the relationship.