yes, the title is correct and not bait 👍
i (22x) have a friend/acquaintance (25m) who is friends with a 13f irl, but people are calling him a weirdo.
he has no romantic relations with this girl and knows her through her dad (40s, m) but people are still calling him a creep and idk how to help besides saying he isn’t. it’s not like he went out of his way to go “hi im looking for 13 year old girls, wanna be friends?”
i feel really bad for the girl and i hope he doesn’t have any bad feelings or intentions, but i’ve heard from him he’s done nothing but mentor her and tutor her.
(i wasn’t there idk if i can truly believe it, but still)
First, watch this video entirely.
Next, talk to your friend. If nothing like what is talked about in the video is happening. Then, cool. Adults and teens can have friendly relationships in the context of mentorship/sharing family ties/same social circles. But your friend needs to understand that he is and will always be responsible for anything that happens in that relationship, even if it is her who misunderstand things. He is the adult, and it is his responsibility to keep things sane and appropriate, draw healthy boundaries and make sure it is not misconstrued as creepy, and it doesn’t matter if it wasn’t intentional.
If your friend is indeed doing some of those things, even if not intentionally, then he is being a creep and grooming is grooming, no matter the intention. The developmental gap is a massive power imbalance that will always make other adults be suspicious of this risk. The healthy thing to do is to keep the distance and the relation in appropriate terms. Girl will survive, she surely has her own social group to cope, and adults have no need to be friends with teens. A well adjusted and mature adult would have no shortage of age appropriate friendship opportunities.