On Monday I have a meeting with my boss and his boss. They wouldn’t say what for, only that “I shouldn’t worry”. Which makes me ABSOLUTELY worry. Don’t think I’ll be fired but I’ll probably be put on a PIP or something.
On top of that one of my cats is actively dying. She’s 15 and I’m by no means ready to say goodbye.
Then I decided to upgrade my pc but of course I botched that and now I have a very expensive paperweight, a mountain of frustration, a few thousand € wasted and nothing but misery and shit to look forward to.
Ain’t life grand? I’m in my 40’s and when I was younger, I kept going thinking “one day surely things will finally be better”. But they’re not. They always keep getting worse and my ability to cope diminishes instead of growing. I feel every failure separately covering me with their weight, and I’ve finally racked up enough that the combined stress is starting to crush me completely.
It does sound like they’re edging you out. I’d start applying elsewhere right away. There’s a lot of remote opportunities for software support. They are extremely competitive, but you have more experience than I do and I’m in the same field. I just recently landed a job as a software specialist in the public sector and it’s insane how different the environment is vs a for-profit company. By the end of my job search I was averaging 10 applications a day and hitting multiple interviews a week. It was a lot of work finding a new job, but it’s worth it in the end.
I’ve never stayed at a job longer than 3 years so I don’t know what it’s like to give 10 years of effort to a company, but I agree with that sentiment. You should always look out for yourself first and the good news is you’ll probably end up making more money than you ever could at your current job by going elsewhere.