Two days ago, I did an AMA about my current life situation, and I really enjoyed it. I find these super fun for some reason, so I’m back with another one! Same request as last time: please, no judgment or unkind replies. Thank you! 🤍
Two days ago, I did an AMA about my current life situation, and I really enjoyed it. I find these super fun for some reason, so I’m back with another one! Same request as last time: please, no judgment or unkind replies. Thank you! 🤍
I’m not going to engage in the online “grooming” debate - it’s pointless, and I don’t feel the need to defend or justify my relationship.
You’re not going to engage in it because there is literally no defending what he’s doing.
Let me be clear, you are doing nothing wrong.
Your partner should not be seeking relationships with someone your age, and he knows why. Even just in this post you’ve already demonstrated how he uses his vastly different living situation and superior power dynamic to groom and entrap you.
This is dangerous, this is unhealthy, you’re being groomed, and you should get outta there as soon as you can. As soon as you need it, we’ll all be there to help you and get you the resources you need.
You were underage. I don’t see a debate just a fact.
June 2023 makes her 16, which is over the age of consent in many countries. It might not be the case in yours - it’s not in mine - but that doesn’t mean it’s illegal where they are. Context is important.
For myself, at 19 I stubbornly believed that my judgement was the best judgement. I felt the same way at 16, too. I had to get to about 25 or 26 to realize that I was mostly a hormonal idiot. Every 10 years I look back and go “huh, that was naive”.
I just hope all of this works out for the OP. As a father of a daughter, it feels scary, but my fear doesn’t help anyone.
Glad the law is the only moral guideline 🙏
“Underage” is a legal colloquialism, so yes, I answered in the context of the comment I was responding to. After all, who sets the age benchmark to determine what is under and what is over age? Please do me the courtesy of taking context into account, if you don’t mind; this is a discussion, not an outrage contest.
I think it’s something you should think critically about since you moved in with him 2 years ago (16?) you aren’t a fully cooked human yet at that age.
All the hate you’re getting is weird. You’re an adult, you can make your own decisions about your life. As long as you are happy and he is happy, I see no reason why there would be a problem. Just people clutching their pearls, I guess.
People are concerned about a vastly unbalanced power dynamic. Even if their 43yo partner managed to have no more knowledge and life experience then them (very unlikely), they have fully developed frontal lobes, the part of the brain responsible for things like rational decision making, emotional regulation, and critical thought, whereas op does not. That alone is a huge power imbalance as this makes op much easier to manipulate and less likely to notice issues. Humans basically have brain damage (when compared to an adult) until their mid twenties.
Add to this that there’s also a socioeconomic imbalance. 43yo likely has much more money (not many teens can afford vacations to the Seychelles without family wealth), and they’ll also have some degree of a network of other adults with similar capabilities. This all can be used against op to keep her compliant, typically in the guise of “helping” or “taking care of her”. If op becomes a problem, like sick, pregnant, or increasingly self sufficient, this can be used to sweep the “problem” under the rug. I’d know, that’s exactly what happened to me at her age.
What I find interesting is that two days ago, when I did my first AMA and talked about how my quality of life has improved tremendously thanks to this relationship, people were all saying things like “happy for you.” I had already mentioned that my boyfriend is much older - just hadn’t explicitly stated his age. But now that I’ve actually said how old he is, people are suddenly like, “Run!” Like… what even?
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