• theangryseal@lemmy.world
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    4 hours ago

    I don’t understand how these kids get caught. They gotta be really slow or something.

    I was caught 0 times as a teenager. My mom never found my porn.

    My brother was caught a few times. My cousin was caught in the damn car on a family vacation with OTHER PEOPLE IN THE CAR just yanking his noodle under a blanket.

    I was so cautious as a kid. I guess because I was caught and thoroughly shamed when I was about 4 years old. Maybe that’s why I never got caught when I was old enough for it to matter. That shame gave me a lifelong lesson.

    I had a motion detecting toy dinosaur at the bottom of the stairs. When someone approached the stairs it would go, “raaaaaawr, raaaaaawr” and I’d be sitting at the foot of the bed reading a book by the time someone got upstairs.

    If they suspected anything, didn’t matter. I was reading.

    When I got high speed internet (as it was called in those days) I threw out the tapes and magazines. I had a separate hard drive I’d plug into my computer juuuuuust in case, and since I was always messing with and tearing into my computer, my mom never found anything. That drive had Linux, my mom was scared of Linux.

    Now that I think about it, holy shit they fucked me up haha.

    When they caught me as a little guy my mom said, “oh shamy, shamy.” And my dad said, “you keep messing with that thing and it’ll fall off and you’ll turn into a girl.” They spent the whole day giving me that, “oh you shameful creature” look.

    Haha, man. Wow.

    Yeah, maybe my people just messed me up.

    • OminousOrange@lemmy.ca
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      53 minutes ago

      A 30 year old friend of mine didn’t know about incognito mode. A certain subreddit popped up, on his projector screen, as a recommendation when we were searching for a sports stream to watch. I don’t think anyone else noticed or would really know what the sub was, but I later casually mentioned this really cool browser feature to use in case you need to search something weird.

      I learned one shouldn’t assume that everyone is familiar with all the digital tricks to hide what they’d prefer others not see.

    • ameancow@lemmy.world
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      29 minutes ago

      Yeah, maybe my people just messed me up.

      I’m pretty sure we’re now in a situation where most of our society’s contention is driven by childhood-induced shame over sexuality in some form or another.

      And there’s not shit we can do about it because every time someone tries to make a campaign to encourage better sex-education, or even scarier, sex positivity among children, those people or groups get attacked for being pedos and predators.

      This is going to be a social dividing line that gets sharper as time goes. There will be people who have a shred of intellectual capacity and haven’t been hollowed out be capitalism, who raise their kids to be free from shame and shackles of toxic social norms and let them just live and discover on their own what sexuality means to them.

      And the orcs, who want literal dark-ages levels of shame, hate and fear and of course power-imbalances as deeply rooted foundations to anything and everything related to sex, and they will only want children associated with sex when it involves controlling them or worse.

    • _stranger_@lemmy.world
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      11 minutes ago

      I had an Irish Catholic nun, with the headdress and nun robes on and everything, tell my class we’d go blind and grow hair on our hands. She was making scarry eyes and jazz hands while she said it. It was a sex ed course and her #1 message to all of us jr high boys was wearing deodorant and scrub your ass in the shower. In retrospect, I think she said that in such a cartoonish manner because she knew it was ridiculous, and really she just didn’t want to gag from the stench after phys ed.

      That same nun told me her favorite band was "those good Irish boys with the rap music, I just wish they’d pick a more respectful name than ‘beasty boys’ "

      We were all sneaking looks at each other’s hands for at least a month after that though.

      • ameancow@lemmy.world
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        23 minutes ago

        I would wager that a lot more do.

        My mother got drunk one night and sat me on her bed and described in detail when she got raped as a teenager, and the resulting abortion and the details of how that went. I was eleven.

        Of course, being a male I can’t go around talking about the lasting effects of many such incidents that happened to me, and I’m not really expected to even connect those things to any feelings about sexual shame. So instead what it does, and what it does to many men who had any kind of sexual trauma, is we just block out the incidents and internalize the feelings and associations inward and it just wrecks our self-esteem, our standards for ourselves and our perceptions of attractiveness in ourselves.

        A lot of guys process this in different ways, and trauma like this can take many forms. But it’s often expressed as later over-compensation and bravado and an image of being “in control” sexually and performative masculinity and hyper-objectifying notions of sexuality, or for more people I suspect, just an internal, festering self-esteem that doesn’t want them to be happy or feel good about themselves. For every loud, angry incel, I suspect there are thousands of men who have the same background or traumas and they just sit quietly on it forever and it robs them of joy.

        • Saik0@lemmy.saik0.com
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          2 minutes ago

          That’s some dangerous assumptions you’re making here… Just because there’s a vocal minority that seems to fit the painting you’ve pictured doesn’t mean that it’s valid. It could easily be argued the complete opposite that those who had shame about the incident would hold onto it, internalize it… and never talk about it again. It can easily go both ways here.

          But my statement was more of an answer to the implicit question of “why did I get the lifelong lesson when the others around me clearly didn’t?”… That answer could be because a lot of people just don’t feel shame. Doesn’t have to be “they gotta be really slow or something”. They didn’t get the lesson… they felt no shame.

    • SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      3 hours ago

      “you keep messing with that thing and it’ll fall off and you’ll turn into a girl”

      On one hand, fucking horrible thing to say on a child

      On the other… probably would not have the effect they would intend on a certin chunk of the population lmao

      • GraniteM@lemmy.world
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        21 minutes ago

        “So anyway, that was the beginning of my transition journey and also how I became an absolute master of giving HJs.”

    • quant@leminal.space
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      3 hours ago

      You had enough motivation and technical knowledge, that’s why. Most people don’t even bother having separate storage with dual booting.