I hate to break it to you, but that’s a male spider and you’re gay.
And this story is real, so it is Real AND Gay!
I’ve never heard of such a thing. Is it really possible?
I’ve run out of AND. Best I can do is:
(Real NOR Real) NOR (Gay NOR Gay)
Without a pic how do you know
smell
This is one instance where I’d say I’d actually prefer if he had an anime body pillow or real doll he was forming this sort of unhealthy attachment to.
I feel so much more normal for just saying hello to my shower spider now.
Why don’t you people kill and dispose of spiders in your home?
Because I can trap mine in a jar and take it outside instead.
They’re actually pretty beneficial (eating other more annoying bugs and all that) and usually not harmful to human residents in any way (except if you live in Australia). Killing them because “aah yuck spiders!” isn’t a good enough reason to many
Did our generation forget how caulk and netting works?
unless you hermetically seal your house, bugs will get in, if they want in.
I didn’t honestly even think about that. Being from the nordics means throwing them outside is the same as killing them most of the year and keeping them all out is kinda impossible, they’ll find their way in because outside is cold
*(edit for managing to cut the text in half)
My shower spider gets a reminder of our deal.
“You know the drill. You stay up there, I stay over here, nobody has to be injured today.”
Sometimes the spider decides to come over to my side and gets flushed or squished, but they knew what was expected of them.
I have one of those who knows her place. She’s been there for probably a year now, and I don’t feed her so she must be doing something for me.
She briefly had a friend of the same species set up shop on the other side of the shower. That one didn’t get the memo and decided to wander all over the place while I was showering, breaking the pact. That one went down the drain. The other is still there, months after that event.
Real talk: people that save spiders and make it a moral thing confuse the heck out of me.
Like, if you were the spiders size proportionally to the spider, it would web you up and suck your blood for being in its home…
Living a principled life does not rise and fall with what is done to you. That would be transactional.
And yet, I feel guiltless in my murderous choice 🫶🏼
Be careful, though! This is the first step towards what anon describes!
Shower spider wants to watch you touch yourself
What a freak!
Just fall in-love with AI like a normal person.
(I can’t even do that, I literally can’t see AI as people)
Loneliness affects people. And as gregariois animals we are, the closest possibility to connect, in any form, is taken.
Y’know… as lonely as I can get (and I get pretty lonely), that mosquito munching on my forearm is still getting a firm slap. Eventually.
Fight malaria when you can!
He’s going to let a spider crawl on his penis in the name of gooning isn’t he? I really want off this ride.
The Spiderbro thing should have never started, now see where it has gotten us.
Whatever, more for me
It happened long ago. Closer to you than you think
Least weird greentext I’ve read for a while.
I had a daddy longlegs in my bathroom for a while. My bathroom exhaust fan broke so the room would get super steamy, and I think the poor spider drowned, because it had clearly died in that spot, hanging from my ceiling.
I still feel a little sad about that spider-bro.
Probably didn’t drown but might have gotten infected by mold. There’s a reason spiders prefer dry places.
Look, everyone tries to fuck shower spider at some point. It’s a rite of passage
Spider-bros are the best. I hope one day I can have a trained jumping spider sidekick on my shoulder.
I know I have hidden spider bros because I haven’t seen a single insect in my apartment in several years.
It’s just the fact that I haven’t seen any spiders in a while that makes me worried that I’m gonna lift something off the floor and see thousands of them or some shit lol
It might be centipedes. Those guys are apex predators of their microcosm.
Above even spiders?
Absolutely
Basically the Yukihiro Takahashi song “Grand Espoir”
