I agree that what she does is manipulative and condescending even with the best intentions (paving the road to hell and all that), but I have issues with the use of “emotional intelligence” here.

An emotional intelligent person does NOT do this kind of shit on purpose.
They meet the other person where they’re at and on the same level, they communicate honestly, they don’t presume to educate or manage them.

I’d say she comes off more as emotionally stunted, she has no idea know how to relate with her partner as an equal.