About a little over year ago after not being particularly active for a number of years, I challenged myself to pick up running. I went from not even being able to run 5 minutes to now regularly being able to run 8 miles…with my longest ever run being 11 miles.
Somehow, I managed to be relatively consistent for a full year in doing this. I don’t run every day, but I generally try to run 3 times per week.
Honestly, I picked up running because I was going through a challenging time. Literally everyone and their mother…every mental health professional…every internet rando…says that exercise improves mental health.
Well it hasn’t for me. All running does is make me tired. I don’t get a “runner’s high”. It doesn’t clear my head of negative thoughts. I don’t get any of that shit.
If I am in a bad mood before the run, the run enhances the low mood. If I am a neutral mood before the run, my mood stays neutral. If I am in an unusually good mood before the run (uncommon), the run enhances my good mood. Running itself (and all forms of exercise really) is actually somewhat unpleasant to me.
Occasionally I’ve read people on the internet saying that you don’t get mood improvements until you’ve run farther. Well I’ve progressively run farther and farther and I’ve been doing this for longer than a whole ass year and not seen any discernible difference.
So what the hell am I doing wrong? I don’t understand.
Yeah, this is one of those things where it just happens to not work for you. Running in specific; you may well get those nice chemicals and a sense of improved self worth from something else.
It’s pretty unusual tbh, but not so rare that it isn’t a matter that’s had some research into it.
Part of it is supposedly the physical; you just aren’t stressing the body enough to trigger the cascade of chemicals. And there’s nothing you can do about that part because you’re just one of those lucky buggers that can run without major physical effects in the short term.
But there’s also a mental side of things. If the exercise doesn’t distract you enough, you’re in a situation where all you can do is think, and your thoughts aren’t healthy, so you reinforce them.
It sucks, and I’m sorry you didn’t get relief from what is an amazing level of sustained effort on your part. But there are other forms of exercise that should help at least a little. You just have to avoid endurance sports like running. Strength training, maybe yoga, martial arts, anything where you’re doing something intense for a half hour to an hour with changes rather than sustaining an effort over the time.