About a little over year ago after not being particularly active for a number of years, I challenged myself to pick up running. I went from not even being able to run 5 minutes to now regularly being able to run 8 miles…with my longest ever run being 11 miles.
Somehow, I managed to be relatively consistent for a full year in doing this. I don’t run every day, but I generally try to run 3 times per week.
Honestly, I picked up running because I was going through a challenging time. Literally everyone and their mother…every mental health professional…every internet rando…says that exercise improves mental health.
Well it hasn’t for me. All running does is make me tired. I don’t get a “runner’s high”. It doesn’t clear my head of negative thoughts. I don’t get any of that shit.
If I am in a bad mood before the run, the run enhances the low mood. If I am a neutral mood before the run, my mood stays neutral. If I am in an unusually good mood before the run (uncommon), the run enhances my good mood. Running itself (and all forms of exercise really) is actually somewhat unpleasant to me.
Occasionally I’ve read people on the internet saying that you don’t get mood improvements until you’ve run farther. Well I’ve progressively run farther and farther and I’ve been doing this for longer than a whole ass year and not seen any discernible difference.
So what the hell am I doing wrong? I don’t understand.
You’re not doing anything wrong in my opinion. Some of us just don’t get an endorphin boost from exercise.
I’m a marathon runner and I have never experienced a runner’s high or whatever these other people get from normal training.
There’s this chart about “types of fun” that finally made it click for me. Some people find the mundane training as “Type I” fun. Some of us have activities that are this and others that aren’t fun in the moment. For me, skiing is type I. Running is not.
I run as a discipline, it feels good looking back on my calendar of training and seeing the work I’ve put in. So I get Type II fun from it. I like to say “I run for the medals” and that’s mostly this concept. I don’t run for the fun, I train for the PR or the “win” or a medal. It’s seeing my work pay off, my discipline for months on end being paid out.
So it’s not the running, it’s achieving the hard goal I set. Anyway, I hope this makes you feel seen. It’s really frustrating to see all the hype about endorphins or whatever being a mood booster, but that’s not the reality for a lot of people.
Also good job on the consistency for a year! That’s impressive! Especially without the mood boost other people get!!
Weirdly, I despise things like running, and yet I have, one time experienced runners high (many years ago).
It’s a pretty interesting experience, and yet it wasn’t enough to get me to enjoy running.