Sorry you lost your fiancé, that’s awful.

I still don’t agree that finding common ground over grief or any other aspect of the human experience is a bad thing.

Sure when the man on the bus told you he lost his daughter if you had said “you think that’s bad, wait til you hear what I lost” that would be totally inappropriate. Telling him “I also lost someone close to me and know the pain and emotional turmoil that causes” is completely appropriate and is very human.