sneaks in here.

things have been mostly down, not up. it’s been a long time since I’ve been here but I meant to come back sooner, it’s just that everything being really draining has left me pulling knives instead of spoons for everything.

partner got on meds for their ADHD recently so big win there, but we’re still figuring out everything that will help them. it’s at least a good step! I’ve gotten back into self-hosting, after coasting on what I had on my server for a while. planning to try out some new services, hopefully installing something for books so I can throw a bunch on my server and not worry about losing access to them. also maybe a new dashboard, though I kind of like the one I have.

coping with the world is hard right now, more than usual. but Susan Crawford won the race on the supreme court, and I’m happy about that at least.

been playing a lot of video games too. mostly hoyoverse games but Fields of Mistria and Disco Elysium (I just started it) are also calling to me.

I hope everyone has a bright spot in their week!

The world keeps getting weirder and weirder, and it’s the bad kind of weird. Can somebody please have the tangerine bollock committed to a mental home, or at least tell our government to grow a pair and stand up to his bullying for a change?

Honestly, aside from the elephant in the room, things are going okay ish. Can’t complain.

I’ve been trying to find some kind of fidget toy/object to help with anxiety while I’m working, but I can’t seem to find something I like. Unsure of what I actually would need? So it’s kind of an experiment.

I got a Shashibo cube the other day and it’s neat, but you kinda need both hand to really do much with it, so I’m thinking the next thing I find might be something I can use one handed.

Bad. The guarantee of a fifth major financial crisis in my lifetime tends not to be great for the old mental health.

I’m feeling very ready to leave the country. On one hand, I know it’s an anxiety attack, but on the other hand, it’s no measure of mental health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

I’m so tired, beeple.

Made too many plans, now I’m tired but luckily the weekend is nearly there so I can rest do even more

I spontaneously booked a hairdresser appointment last weekend and really enjoyed getting my hair cut. The differences are quite small but it made me feel euphoric :)

No one at work has noticed ofc but fuck them I’m vibin 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Idk randomly dipping real hard this week. I don’t seem to be able to fix it and I don’t know why. It will probably pass in a few days, I sometimes get like this.

Worked almost 40 hours for spring break. As much as I hate working during my break, I think it’s ultimately a blessing: I’m getting out of an internship that I don’t like sooner rather than later.

Now it’s back to the grind. Somehow got most of this week’s assignments done already, but I know a couple of things that will kick my butt later this week. Hopefully it doesn’t mess with me too much.

I want to get ahead and work on outside projects because I know I can’t rely on my current program to help me get into my career. And I’d like to network more with the local community, but I gotta plan ahead and manage my time better, haha… Things are just rough right now with two jobs.

There are a lot of worries piling up in my head right now. I think I need to rest.

Bad. Tired. There are 2000 picks in the system at any given time and I’m not making a dent in the work and they’re guilting me for not working over.

I just feel really emotionally unstable and all my relationships stress me out.

currently reading:

My little sister in law just got her letter saying she’s been accepted to Purdue!

I’ll be moving in June and am interviewing for jobs in the new location. Wish me luck!

It’s been a long one. Kids are back in school as of today and I’m on my Friday at work. Tomorrow is taxes and other hateful paperwork.

As I previously told, I decided to RMA my netbook server’s SSD and send it to Denmark for repair. In the meantime, I put the server’s original HDD back, installed Ubuntu Server and now it runs several other things, except for NextCloud. It clearly looks like the laptop’s SATA port isn’t at fault, as the laptop’s been running for over a week with no interruptions and errors whatsoever.

What else? I may try to code several of my Angular projects.

My ass needs a nap 3/4 of the day, every* day. I guess I need to be a cat. I’d also be ok with the 15 year lifespan.