My wife hasn’t spoke with her dad in over 20 years and with her mum for about 6 years now.
We both recognized what our parents did that was wrong (to us at least) and we tried to avoid repeating those mistakes.
We are also on the same page 99% of the time and back each other up.
From day 1 we put our kids first. Not our own parents and their wants, but us and the kids. That’s probably the biggest one.
We don’t care if our parents aren’t happy with something, as long as we and the kids are happy.
Example - wife’s family is big into giant family gatherings (weddings, birthdays, engagements etc). We are not. So we used to skip a lot of them, or leave early.
Received a fair bit of flack from relatives, and we just told them to shove it (politely). If my kid is tired or bored, we leave. Simple.
My wife hasn’t spoke with her dad in over 20 years and with her mum for about 6 years now.
We both recognized what our parents did that was wrong (to us at least) and we tried to avoid repeating those mistakes.
We are also on the same page 99% of the time and back each other up.
From day 1 we put our kids first. Not our own parents and their wants, but us and the kids. That’s probably the biggest one.
We don’t care if our parents aren’t happy with something, as long as we and the kids are happy.
Example - wife’s family is big into giant family gatherings (weddings, birthdays, engagements etc). We are not. So we used to skip a lot of them, or leave early.
Received a fair bit of flack from relatives, and we just told them to shove it (politely). If my kid is tired or bored, we leave. Simple.
How essential is this part? My wife supports me on the boundaries with my parents. But on other stuff we are less aligned.
Hard to say. When it comes to hobbies and certain attitudes about things, wife and I differ.
When it comes to anything regarding our kids’ development and influence, we align.
You can have different views and still be successful, just depends on what it is really.
Same with the man and I. “What do you think about this?” is a common question in our relationship.
“I don’t care and I don’t give a fuck” means go ahead, do what you want. 😂