Nah, they decided to buy a more affordable car with only a 3-star crash rating because they decided to get stressed about their only financing option being complete dogshit because of a wrecked economy, because they decided to have a job that required going into the office.

This is just HAARP all over again, but super localized.

I went in and bought an assorted dozen the other week. Then as an upsell they asked if I wanted to buy an additional plain dozen. What the actual fuck.

Every Tesla driver getting defaced next week:

They graduated from one of Canada’s top business schools.

The plan? Negotiate 90 trade deals in 90 days.

Double the service? No. Maybe consider it “budget airline plus.” The measurements of the seat and getting a little screen/refreshments will be the real difference.

Unsigned order, only one dissenting vote. Go suck a railroad spike.

In May, there were relatively elevated shares of delisted homes in metro areas including Miami–Fort Lauderdale–West Palm Beach in Florida, Phoenix-Mesa-Chandler in Arizona, and Houston–Pasadena–The Woodlands in Texas

They blame oversupply, but have you considered, in order: too many hurricanes, too fucking hot, and too fucking Texas?

I’ve forgotten a combination OC/CN spray (aka peppermace) in the bottom of a bag and been waved through. Complete clown shoes.

No LiveLeak? SomethingAwful? PORK CHOP SANDWICHES?

Ahhh that little cursor maze where it gets super small a few levels in lol

Which calendar?

Schools already shit the bed by hiring 3rd party consulting like rpkGroup to “streamline” budgets/programs, and now they’re going to be cutting even more. Add that to the recent legislation which re-fucked student loans even more, targets schools that don’t have a good “ROI,” stripped funding, and now you’ve got a bunch of hollowed-out institutions too scared to do anything but train ChatGPT-brainrot kids on whatever the hottest job market is, completely saturating it within two years. But I have a feeling the college sports schools will somehow be ok. Can’t disappoint FanDuel.

That’s not American enough, should be a bucket of Duke’s.

Forgot to turn the volume down, instant regret as the speakers on the family computer scream ”HI EVERYBODY I’M LOOKING AT GAY PORNO”

iPhone XS. They (the Apple Store) said “for insurance reasons” they couldn’t continue trying to put the phone together because they might break another screen.

I’ve posted this before, but I took a phone in for a battery replacement. Pretty routine. They took forever and finally came back to me and said “we can’t replace your battery because we broke two screens trying to put it back together.” Listen motherfuckers, you had one job, it’s all you do all day, and you somehow had Slippy McThumbs as the technician? They then handed me a nonfunctional phone and, dead serious, asked for a good time for a call with tech support to get my phone replaced. Then took a $1000 deposit on a phone with a trade value of maybe $300 until they got the broken one. Three-ring shit show.

Tell him that his reach exceeds his grasp

Prices mysteriously go up about a week before prime day sales, then drop to a few dollars below normal, scream “39% off” and you feel like you beat the system.

Just one more gotcha, bro. It’ll hit them this time. I promise.