Worst dates? How about bizarre ones? I’ll omit my actual worst dates because I suspect they’d be too intense or bring down the mood, and I’m guessing that may not be the intention of the post.
I briefly dated this one girl in Portland, Oregon. Let’s call her Marie. I planned everything for the first date, drove all the way across town for the sake of meeting at a memorable place on a pleasant day - effort I put in when I think there’s a chance for something with real potential.
We met up at a farmer’s market, awkwardly scooted around looking at various produce and tasted spicy chocolates while talking about who knows what. Positive, light-hearted conversation. Cool, Marie passed the vibe check, so I took her to my favorite bakery in the area. Better conversation this time - enough to want a second date. We started walking maybe two blocks until she excused herself and dipped out - no hug, kiss, or handshake. Huh. Well, it was less than a 90-minute date. OK, bye bye.
A few days passed as we kept in touch over text and agreed to another date. I, again, made all the plans; I don’t remember what they were exactly but do recall that it was a very thoughtful and cute idea based on some cute thing that we bonded over when we were last together. Marie said no, she’d actually prefer to go to a book signing at Powell’s (which is downtown, across the city for me) in the middle of the week at, like, 5pm. Hmm, OK, I’ll give it a shot. I appreciated her proposing a date idea and hadn’t been to a book signing in a long time, anyway.
The day came. I scrambled after my last meeting for the day to shower and prep and whatnot, hopped in my car and enjoyed a ~45 minute drive in heavy traffic toward the heart of the city. I eventually found paid parking about 4 blocks away, tossed a few coins to my Parking Kitty, and rushed off to the bookstore.
I composed myself while looking around but saw no sign of Marie. 5 minutes until the signing, whew. I texted her to say I’d arrived. I started to meander, peeking around the stacks to see if she’s browsing but stayed to the entryway. It’s cold and drizzly outside, enough where people weren’t loitering around, so I didn’t think we’d miss each other that way. 0 minutes until the signing. 5 minutes late. I texted again. 10 minutes late. Then there she is - there’s Marie! A brief “hey!” later, we scurried upstairs and, thankfully, saw that the group was seated but the crowd was still murmuring, so the event hadn’t yet begun.
We grabbed our seats and enjoyed the event, after which I anticipated that we’d walk and talk around the bookstore or do… something date-y, but she said “OK I’m gonna head out.” Uh. “Alright, can I walk you to your car?” She nodded, and off we went. We made it about two blocks and only chatted for maybe 2-3 minutes before reaching her car. “OK, bye!” she said as she got in her car with a timid wave.
After I got back home, I texted Marie, asking if she was OK because it felt like we only shared a few sentences before departing and I’m not used to that kind of communication, especially on dates. No response. I waited two days, still no response, so I told her that it was nice seeing her but I need better communication with people I’m dating.
Mitosis gone wild