You could be right, I don’t know. Frankly, I don’t want to know.

Captain Jack Sparrow!

You’re not helping the cause that you think you are helping.

That is NOT from Glorious Nation of Denmark! It is German or possibly Austrian.

Has a doctor promised him that his balls will eventually drop?

Fauxritos.

So… “I’m totally not going to chicken out”?

Ohno, the thing he wanted to happen to other people happened to himself.

You will never be disappointed with The United States of America.

Is the whole thing satire?

Ronnie Cheng Ronny Chieng is not Laotian. He’ll get the accent wong.

Edit: Corrected a typo.

“The dragon was the best part of the original trilogy. I can’t wait to see the dragons they come up with for the sequels.” and when they imply that the story is not so dragon-heavy, pretend you don’t believe them and keep talking about how awesome the dragons are going to be.

If they try to explain what a trilogy is, explain to them that “trilogy” is the first part of a story.

If you’re still together by the end of Return of the King, state that is was the worst Dungeons and Dragons movie you’ve ever seen on account of the lack of dragons.

Go for it, it’s just about to blow up.

I wish that I could say that it isn’t right, but…

Got in his car, fired two rounds to the back of his own head and disposed of the gun.

Ja, det er ikke noget at grine ad.

Just no.

In what sort of workplace is this not safe?

I fucking love messy lasagna. It should be almost soup but with a top layer golden-brown baked cheese. Sometimes I sprinkle breadcrumbs on top to get it a little hard and crunchy.

I like to serve with tortilla chips and dip them in the goo.

Italians would probably take offense, but IDGAF - Cause my lasagna brings all the boys to the yard.

Well, to be fair bigots - and especially the north american red capped bigot - have an obsession with toilets that go far beyond racism.

A penal colony gotta have standards.