I call it ‘Ode to the late Hermione’, written to the tune of Ode to joy:

Stinker pooper farter tooter,
Smelly butt and rotten arse,
If you weren’t such a cuter,
We would send your butt to Mars.

NASA would be ove-erjoyed with,
Geoforming going well. Ooooh,
How can such a little kitty,
Make Mars smell like rotten hell.

Stinker pooper farter tooter,
Smelly butt and rotten arse,
If you weren’t such a cuter,
We would send your butt to Mars.

But be careful, don’t light fires,
Her farts are quite flammable,
Turning Mars into a pyre,
Stinking gas cloud pole to pole.

I do research on technologies that make airplanes heavier, increase their fuel consumption and make them fall out of the sky more often. Oh and I spend time in the classroom making sure students have no idea how to reverse it.