Yes. I remember a couple summers ago, walking down a street and thinking to myself ‘I would rather fuck everyone’s grandpa than one kid, I can’t possibly be a pedophile’. While, the former is still true, I’ve come to understand that 1. Pedophilia isn’t shameful, and 2. Attraction can be a funky thing.
What I realized is that I don’t like using ‘myself’ in sexual fantasies, so in the place of ‘myself’ I like to use young teens. My aesthetic attraction to others automatically turns sexual and I am equally attracted to either ‘side’ of the fantasy. Even though the ‘substitute me’ is mostly me, there is also a little part of me that enjoys being the other perspective. Plurality + attraction be funky I guess.
When I was a teen, my sexual fantasies were more similar to how they are now, but for a large chunk in between I thought that because I was getting older, the people in my fantasies had to age up to, the older I got, the more I felt like something was missing from my fantasies, but I was too scared to think sexually of young teens again. Being in paraphilia positive spaces helped me understand that I am allowed to fantasize about whatever the fuck I want, and I am free again.
So even though my MAPness isn’t very ‘direct’, that doesn’t mean I won’t think sexual thoughts when I see an attractive kid. I still try to not look at kids when I’m outside. Kids don’t not make me horny, etc. It’s just that it’s not appealing for me to be the one that fucks them. I’ve never understood why attraction has to involve yourself. All the signs lead to what I’m experiencing as being some type of attraction, I think.
So that’s why I decided to call myself a MAP. Maybe it’s not 100% logical, but I’m more MAP than not MAP. Also for context, I am aro and aplatonic.
Hello and welcome.
Ok so when you do anal for the first time it can be pretty painful. It’s important to prepare, not go to big or too fast at first, but the area can absolutely be immensely pleasurable.
Fun story, I’ve had a cis guy try to tell me once that people without prostates (no, he didn’t use that phrasing) couldn’t enjoy anal because they lacked prostates. Which is absolutely false. You don’t need a prostate to enjoy anal.