I have a wonderful senior dog and he’s my best friend. And I’m so scared of his aging. As he’s slowing down and I keep an eye out for medical issues I just can’t imagine how and when to make a call about his life.
I work all day away from home and live by myself, which was not the situation when I’d adopted him initially. I don’t have a community or friends or family around to help during the day if and when it comes to that. I can’t afford dog sitters especially not ones with training.
What if he could be fine with more support and money, should I give him back to animal rescue?
Do not give your senior pet to an animal rescue. I think the mental anguish they’d experience they’d suffer from feeling abandoned would hurt them so, so much.
Do your best. Talk to your vet and ask for guidance.
We all face this, eventually. It is hard to face that our cherished pet is aging, but it’s our duty to see them through.
I’ve lost four senior pets in the last 3 years, all between 14 and 23 years old.
You make them as comfortable as possible for as long as you can, and you shower them with love and treats for as long as they live.
When you have to let them go, you stay with them until their last breath and you thank them for all the years they gave you.
Go home and bawl your eyes out. Grieve for as long as you have to.
But never, ever, ever give them up or give them away. They deserve better.
There’s a bit in one of the Expanse novels where one of the main characters is remembering a dog he’d lost as an adolescent. The dog laid down and one of his parents explained what was happening. He vowed to remain at it’s side until it’s last breath, but after three hours he was just bored.
That bit always stuck with me.
Talk to your vet. Senior dogs may have incontinent issues but just clean it up or put pads down.
You don’t necessarily need others help.When the time comes, just think of your pet and don’t let them suffer. I let my little boy suffer at least a day longer than I should have because I couldn’t say goodbye, but don’t let your best friend sit in pain.
Don’t feel bad if they have a medical issue that you can’t pay for. That is common and doesn’t make you a bad pet owner.
What if he could be fine with more support and money, should I give him back to animal rescue?
That’s as tough a call to make as “the call” about his life. When I was in that spot with my last dog, it was during COVID so I was working from home and could be there for him. Thankfully, I got to go full time WFH after that, and I’m here for my senior dog currently as well (though she’s got several good years ahead of her, and the puppy she wanted 2 years ago keeps her plenty active lol).
My only hesitation about surrendering to animal rescue is that sometimes senior dogs are hard to re-home. Whoever adopts them has to expect medical bills for their care and have time to care for them. Or, worse, they end up in a “bad” home where the new owner doesn’t treat them as well or punishes them for things that have been fine all their life. Sadly, a lot of senior dogs can and do spend the rest of their days in a kennel at the rescue center which breaks my heart to think about (especially if they’re currently in a loving home).
I don’t know your situation well enough to give any advice (merely things to think about), but if at all possible, I’d say he’s better off in your care than going back through the rescue system. If for no other reason than the shock of re-homing and losing what he considers his best friend (you). Personally, I would only consider surrendering as a last resort if I’m completely unable to care for him financially or otherwise.
I’ve had to make the call on senior pets about four times now, and it’s tough. Sometimes it’s easier, when they’re in visible and obvious pain and sometimes it’s hard, when there’s no one thing you can point to. The lovely home vet who helped my last senior kitty pass said it helps to keep track of the good days and bad days. If your pet is affectionate, playful, can get excited, that’s a good day. If they hide, lie in quiet places and aren’t interested in things they usually love then that’s a bad day. When the majority of their days are bad days, it’s time.
I wouldn’t think your dog would have better care in a shelter, even if you’re feeling guilty about being away a lot. Maybe there’s a way to shift your schedule to have more time with your dog when he’s most active, or maybe there’s a local kid who wouldn’t mind hanging out with your dog on certain days. It’s worth exploring more options because a shelter will almost certainly be a worse experience for him.
I have a Shih-tzu/Bichon that’s about 17 now. She’s missing most of her teeth, and has trouble with stairs, but still curious, excitable and ready to cuddle anyone who’s willing. People walk past the house and think she’s a puppy because they see her running to meet them.
Don’t let a number like age worry you too much. Dogs would always prefer more time with their owners, but I don’t think having some peace and quiet to lounge around while you’re at work is doing any harm. He’d much rather have you for a few hours at night, than be left with strangers.
Best of luck to both of you!
My personal rule for eol and my pets is whether or not they can enjoy the things they used to. Can’t get into your window seat? Here are some stairs. Can’t go up the stairs to your window seat due to pain…I’m afraid we need to go for a ride soon.
Went through something similar with my 17 year old cat. They hide their suffering so well but I could tell at the end he wasn’t having a good quality of life. My elder parents he was living with couldn’t bring themselves to make the call so I made the tough but necessary decision to humanely release his spirit from the failing meat machinery. Rest in peace Boots and thanks for taking care of mom and dad for me.
If he seems happy and not in pain, then nothing is wrong. Consider setting up a nanny cam, so you can check on him throughout the day.