I tongue fucked an olive earlier, does that count?
Botanically yes. Culinarily no.
Best I can do is drink a smoothie made from frozen berries because nothing is really in season right now
You just gotta work it. Treat that straw in ways that would make your parents ashamed of you.
Gets immediate brain freeze from snorting a smoothie
By the time I’m done with that smoothie they’ll wish they sent me to conversion camp
Have you tried sprinkling some nutmeg in it? Game changer
You should see me eat a banana.
Given the state of the government and the US CDC, I’ve been eating so many onions, I have an ulcer now.
…battered and fried in beef tallow? :p
Hey, I was already sensually eating junk food.
Seriously, though, I would not put it past this CDC to try to sell me some bullshit woo about how activating endorphins whilst eating fruit unlocks some quantum vitamins or something.
Am I crazy or does that sound within the realm of possibility for them?
I don’t know if they’d say that specifically – but you’re not alone in having trouble telling real announcements from satire!
deleted by creator





