What began as a joke on social media has snowballed into one of the most talked-about political satire campaigns in Europe this year. More than 200,000 Danish citizens have now signed a viral petition proposing that Denmark buy the U.S. state of California, a tongue-in-cheek response to former U.S. President Donald Trump’s past interest in acquiring Greenland.
Under the fictional proposal, Californians would be welcomed into the Kingdom of Denmark with a package of benefits that reads like a parody of Nordic governance. The petition promises “rule of law, universal health care, and fact-based politics” as immediate perks of Danish administration.
To underscore the absurdity, the organizers also pledge a lifetime supply of Danish pastries for all 39 million residents of the state. The petition’s website jokingly notes that while Denmark cannot solve every problem, “we are very confident about pastries.”
The satirical plan goes further, outlining a full cultural “Denmarkification” of the West Coast. Los Angeles would be rechristened “Løs Ångeles,” while Danish-style cycling infrastructure would spread across cities more famous for traffic jams than bicycles.
Even California’s most iconic institutions are not spared. Disneyland would be rebranded as “Hans Christian Andersenland,” a nod to Denmark’s most famous storyteller, Hans Christian Andersen. The petition cheerfully asks readers to imagine fairy tales replacing cartoon mascots, and even suggests that Viking helmets might become standard park attire.
As a spokesperson for CA citizens, we’ll take it! Please and thank you.
Only if they take Washington and Oregon too.
As a WA state resident, we require inclusion in the deal. In fact, you buy 1 California and receive a complimentary WA state for free! Act now, and receive a special-one-time Oregon while supplies last!
An overland route between Mexico and Canada that doesn’t go through the US, that could be interesting.
As a Washingtonian, yes please, and thank you for including us and Oregon. It is greatly appreciated!
Would you be fine if we just made you EU members instead of a state? That might make things less complicated. And would piss Trump off even more.
The Californian Republic would definitely have the most interesting flag in the EU. Too many tricolors, not enough bears.
Fuck that if they just want the bay area I’m in.
Where do I sign?!
I second that.
Can other states join? Asking for friends.
I’ll happily start learning
DutchDanishUnless I’m being wooshed, I think it might be best to start learning the actual languages spoken in Denmark unless you expect the Netherlands to outbid them lol
I’m a dumbass
I, for one, welcome our new Danish overlords!
You gotta keep the Bear.
Maybe have the bear and the swan both!
I think it’s psychologically important for Denmark to own California
All sales of California include a complementary Washington State, and yes, it’s mandatory.
Don’t tempt us with a good time.
Also, can you take MA too? We have lots of neat bioscience stuff, tons of universities, and a similar dislike of orangeboi.
Frankly, I’d like to move to Denmark or Greenland, but they’d probably be understandably suspicious of me.
Texas or Florida would have been a much more appropriate choice. Trump doesn’t even like California.
No one wants to buy Florida.
I don’t know. Is there a country of Shreks out there somewhere? They might want to buy the thing.
Can we just put Florida up for sale?
Apparently I need to move to California.
California is one of the few states (most) Americans would not want to give up.
How about some of the Deep South?
What will you pay us to take it?
I guess Alabama would be really expensive for us to pay you to take. Maybe Florida?
Alabama residents receive over $60 billion from the federal government—23% of all personal income.
These payments, known as transfer payments, include Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, veteran’s benefits, unemployment, Pell Grants, and others.* The report explains how an aging population and shrinking economic opportunities have shifted many communities into reliance on these transfer payments.
To put the $60 billion in perspective, Alabama’s four automakers generate $6.4 billion in total compensation, according to a report from Autos Drive America and the American International Automobile Dealers Association, as reported by al.com. That’s about one-tenth of the amount received from federal transfer payments.
In other words, a 10% reduction in these payments would have a similar economic effect on personal income as shuttering Alabama’s entire auto industry.
hmm, Give me a bit to open up a crowdsource campaign. We could stand to lose some red in the map :)
How about a trade? I mean, Trump really wants Greenland. That’s about 2.2 million square kilometers.
Texas is about 0.7 million square kilometers. California is 0.4. New Mexico 0.3. Arizona is 0.3. That makes 1.7 million square kilometers.
So how about they swap? The USA get Greenland, Denmark gets all of the states adjoining Mexico. That swap is super favorable to the Americans (2.2 > 1.7, after all) and the USA even get a nice buffer state between themselves and those Mexican drug cartels they’re so afraid of. There’s literally no downside. Trump would be the greatest landswapper in all of history, if not more. I’m sure Denmark would even give him a Nobel Prize in Economy or two.
Canada wants to buy Minnesota. They seem like our kind of people.
200,000, that’s almost an entire suburb of LA!
Shit, wait for me to get there first!
Sold!
Hey listen: California is vital for Denmark’s security, for some reason. Also, the Danish prime minister was snubbed for the Nobel Peace Prize, so that means that they’re going to invade us if we don’t comply with the sale.
