The actual Onion must be struggling these days.
That’s why the show Veep ended when Trump got elected in 2016. The creators were pretty much like “why bother”.
They’re making a killing off the predictions market.
I can imagine xD
trump declares himself “distractfromepsteinfiles by calling himself president of venezuela”
Did… did he just declare the USA Annexed Venezuela?
I read it more as a personal union situation, not really an annexation.
No, he just stole a beautiful tropical country for his very own, with lots of oil under it. Better than what those Saudis got with their stupid desert, and way better than Jeffrey’s island.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/President_of_Venezuela#Requirements
According to articles 227 and 229 of the Constitution of Venezuela, adopted in 1999, the following requirements must be met in order to become President of Venezuela:
- Being a Venezuelan citizen from birth and possessing no other nationality.
- Being at least 30 years old at the time of the election.
- Not being a subject to any conviction by final judgment.
- Not being a Minister, governor, mayor, or the vice president of the Republic from the day the candidacy is announced to the day of the election.
Donald Trump doesn’t meet the constitutional requirements to be President of Venezuela.
He also doesn’t meet the constitutional requirements to be President of the United States, though, so nothing new here.
You don’t understand the way these Sociopathic Oligarchs are viewing the future. They don’t see themselves as being a member of a sovereign nation, they believe they should have their own sovereign territory, where they can rule under any system of government that they choose, including being just a plain old KING.
So when he makes Venezuela his own, he will replace whatever cockamamie Constitution they’ve been using, with his own whims.
Hey, we don’t know he wasn’t born there for sure, right? I want to see his long-firm girth certificate!
He wants to be president of Venezuela? Sure! Let’s deport him there 👍
I do not want to see his girth certificate.
It’s a very small document
It can’t be seen without the use of a tunneling electron microscope, and an extremely powerful one, at that.
Inferring from hi hands, there’s not a lot to see anyways.
No need to infer. Stormy Daniels slept with him and wrote about it:
“He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels writes. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool … I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart … It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”
I think deporting trump counts as illegal dumping of toxic waste.
Palpatine: I will make it legal
“Constitution? What’s that?”
He wipes his ass with the constitution of the USA, he’s not gonna bother with another country’s.
Donald Trump doesn’t meet the laws of nature to be a human being. The it is literally the Anti-Christ.
He also doesn’t meet the constitutional requirements to be President of the United States,
Oh shiz, I’m intrigued. What in the constitution of the United States does he violate regarding being the president?
This is Section 3 of the 14th Amendment:
No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice-President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any State, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability.
It doesn’t require that he be convicted of anything related to an insurrection, only that he had engaged in one, which automatically gives him a disability against holding any office. Since Trump incited the insurrection, and refused to call for the National Guard to protect the houses of Congress, I think it would be a huge stretch to say that he didn’t engage in the insurrection.
Another part of the Amendment gives Congress the power to enforce the Amendment, and that is something that Congress chose not to do. That’s why Trump hasn’t been stopped from being president.
But choosing not to enforce a law doesn’t mean that it is legal to break the law.
You could add the fact he says he was elected 3 times which isn’t legal, it’s phrased as elected twice makes you ineligible to hold office on a third election. Doesn’t say anything about actually taking or holding office.
I’d imagine the part where he’s a 34x convicted felon.
There is no reason a person with felony convictions can’t be president.
I’m thinking that should probably be added into the constitution after this…
I declare Donald J. Trump a pedophile rapist piece of shit. There’s your wake up call, world.
You forgot scammer and destroyer of murica
Oh, I didn’t forget. This is just more important. America has been doomed long before this fucknut got his very tiny pedophile hands on it.
Take back your country from these assholes ,now
Yep. Trump is a symptom.
A viruss or cancer , cut it out
Trump’s more like a terratoma.
…that’s not much of a declaration. Everybody already knows that.
I DECLARE THE SKY TO BE BLUE!!! AND GRASS TO BE GREEN!!!
I! DECLARE! BANKRUPTCYYYYYY!!!
Sure thing Krasnov. Now back to those missing files.
Even with the hitler 'stache, they made him look better than he ever did by fixing his hair, neck, and complexion.
It’s a blending of his face with Hitler.
The fact you just argued that looking more like Hitler is an improvement to Trump speaks volumes about his character.
Is that oil making a Hitler mustache? Very very well done if it is.
Yes
Is that Croatian?
Nah, Slovene, from Melania’s immigration origin country.
Thanks!
How long do you think it takes for those who still support him to… wake up?
This is not fucking normal.
909 people died from poison koolaid in Jonestown, following the cult of Jim Jones. Death is typically the way out of death cults.
They were made to drink it at gunpoint (not all but many were). Some escaped by fleeing the hall they were doing it in and hiding in the complex. Jones knew it was over and had sent some members to chase down and murder the ones that left and the ones that came to offer them a way home (including a US congressman, which is how he knew it was over because the next visit would probably be with guns blazing). Now you could say that about the ones holding the guns, that pieces of shit can often find goons to do their dirty work, but most of the people who went along with it had something very different in mind and became disillusioned while they were there, but being nowhere close to home with all communications being reviewed, they didn’t have many options.
I’m from Guyana and anytime I say that, guess what the first fucking question is? I wasn’t there! Boo
Do you ever just pop over to France for a quick meal?
The people that support him only give him points when he does something they like, and don’t remove points when he does something they do not like. It’s an important part of the delusion and big surprise dogmatic religious people have trained their whole lives for this.
I think it has more to do with people only seeing things that support there beliefs
I’m willing to bet many of them are “Murica! Fuck yeah!” Types who are happy the whole world will be their country at some point.
But, if the whole world is ‘Merica, where will they deport people to?
The afterlife.
And they still wont leave their trailer park
The ones who still support him approve. There’s nothing to wake up to.
How long before he declares himself to be the god emperor of earth?
At the current rate, about 7 minutes.
Venezuelans, lock up your children! Hide them. That orange thing and his mates really like the little ones.
wake-up call
Who isn’t already awake by now?
Some people are just stupid, I guess
The pawns
Let him step foot in Venezuela… they’ll show all Muricans how protests are done
The US military doesn’t need to step foot in Venezuela in order to cause unimaginable death and destruction. This is by no means a boast. People need to understand the implications of a deranged and senile narcissist having access to the most powerful armed forces the planet has ever known. That is not hyperbole.
The US also cannot steal the oil remotely… they’ll need to invade if they plan to take more than the tankers at sea
Having said that, this absurd, ill conceived plan, is more intended to hide the fact trump is a pedophile a likely a child sex trafficker, than anything concrete about taking oil
The US can bomb Venezuela into submission if there are truly no guard rails in place like right now. I do not put it past trump to nuke the Capitol to get an immediate surrender consequences be damned. He seems like he really wants to push that big red button.
Agreed… but again, how are you going to steal the oil in a radiated, toxic wasteland?
The infrastructure for the oil industry in Venezuela is falling apart (turned out to be a saving grace now), you can bomb the crap out of the rest of the country but, at the very least, Venezuelans will destroy whatever little infra is left.
With the Orange Pedo being 79, he won’t see a drop of oil going down that way
Because from a bomb it’s not really radioactive that long from my understanding. Less than 2 years until an area is habitable again, but it would need to be monitored. Add to that the distance between the capital and where the oil reserves are is a few hundred km. Bomb the capital, get the surrender, steal the reserves. No need to send your people where the radiation is.
Maybe stop playing so many videogames.
I don’t play a lot of video games that involve that. But I did work on nuclear reactors in the Navy. To be fair that was a long time ago so I may not remember the specifics.
And to be clear I don’t condone the actions (I think it’s fucking abominable). They just don’t seem to be far fetched from my armchair.
America is over 10 times as large as Venezuela. The comparison is like a basketball verses a pebble.
No superpower has ever beaten guerrilla tactics. Just like Vietnam, if lots of soldiers are coming home in body bags for a war people don’t see the benefit to them for, the pressure to stop will mount. It’s unfortunate that it will kill so many people before it gets to that point.
Even more sad is that it seems like most of the oil companies aren’t interested in Venezuela as the oil price is too low to take on the risk. The risk of bombs to their infrastructure after costly installations. Risk their investment is removed as soon as trump is gone.
That’ll explain how the US did so well in Iraq, Afghanistan, Vietnam, …
In Iraq we had no goal. Can’t complete an objective when there is no objective. Same with Afghanistan.
Vietnam we lost the objective because literally everyone knew the objective wasn’t obtainable, yet we stayed there.
In Venezuella there’s a clear objective. Steal all the oil. Of all the stupid wars we’ve been involved with, this one is at least honest. We’re here for your oil, and we’ll kill you with the biggest military if you step in our way.
I don’t agree with the objectives. I don’t agree with the war. But I will say this seems pretty easy for us. Fucking over countries long term future, sowing political chaos, and stealing oil are like our cornerstones.
I am saying it’s not so easy to organize when 10+ times as large. That is all, I don’t want any wars or anyone killed. This whole thing is some insane nightmare.
You guys are great a making excuses… as if you could not just protest in whatever town/city you live in
We get it, you are afraid and don’t want to sacrifice an hour of TV to save democracy because you are white and think they won’t come for you… keep watching TV and be happy
I’m in the south in a not-super-large area and there have been protests near me every single day for a week or two at least. Everyone honking in support, including a big-ass ugly truck. I find it encouraging.
While we are at it. Since you are such an expert you should come to the US and organize a protest across the entirety of the country. A tough guy like you, it should be easy.
yes, you should outsource that labour as well
OK tough guy revolutionary. Your e-peen is so large.
Ad hominems, thank you for your support. Maybe you can leave your armchair one of these days.
I am already moving more than you are to protect MY OWN country…
Are you always such a dick?
No, only about things that matter
Could have fooled me.
Testing the waters to see if anyone will buy into his kingship?
Trump- “I’ll build a better American! With child sex slaves and everyone will love my big hands!”
I just realized I can just declare anything, declaring it makes it serious. 💡
There now I’m also president of Venezuela! Thumbs up to myself. 👍 😀
I am such a genius the world must be in awe. 😎-Trump
Clown of the world 🤡 🤣It only counts if you photoshop your Wikipedia bio as proof.
That makes it a fact, it’s right there in black on white!
