• ᓚᘏᗢ@piefed.social
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    3 days ago

    Brillo pads are steel wool full of soap, not those green scrubby cloths.

    It’s a horrific story, but I’ve been reading too much Oglaf recently and camo-cock is giving me all sorts of ideas. He could put a little army hat on it and do recreations. Very niche audience for that sort of thing I suspect, but he should work with what he’s got.

      • ᓚᘏᗢ@piefed.social
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        3 days ago

        Yeah. Significantly.

        Idk how oop mixed up those green scrubby cloths with brillo pads, either. Brillo is a well known brand name here to the point of steel wool pads being known as Brillo pads more often than not, like Hoover is for vacuums.

          • ᓚᘏᗢ@piefed.social
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            3 days ago

            I think those might be USA only products?

            You know how in the USA you guys call tissues kleenex, this would be like you saying kleenex but meaning kitchen towel or loo roll or something.

            • Skua@kbin.earth
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              3 days ago

              Oh good point, I didn’t think to check where they were sold. I’m also in the UK and would, when hearing “brillo pad”, assume the same one you did. It’s possible I heard my American ex refer to the green cloths as brillo pads at some point though

  • shalafi@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    I can go worse, but not as stupid. Still, worse. Crazy thing, found multiple guys on reddit with the exact same story.

    If you want out now, tl;dr: Don’t jack it with hair conditioner. This had happened 4 times over a couple of years till I put the pieces together.

    Jacked off the usual way, manually, sans lube, typical Tuesday. Same day, still horny, hair conditioner in the shower, little extra friction, but I score, because I am not a quitter. Est GOOOOOALL!

    6 hours: Laying in bed reading, tuggin’ my junk, kinda itchy.

    12 hours: Really itchy, bail for inspection. Circumcision scar down (or up, depending on orientation), pink, puffy, as if lightly sanded with masking tape marking the work area, perfect demarcation. Applied antibiotic unguent for good measure, boxer briefs now contain the anomalous zone.

    24 hours: Penis angry, Red Hulk angry. Praying for the itch to return, hurts to wear pants, cannot walk. Another antibiotic poultice, wrapped with thin gauze and tape. Walking now. Weeping a bit.

    36 hours: Skin turning brown, turning black, sloughing off. I’ll not elaborate. Skin. Off. Tears.

    48 hours: Final flesh chunking off, bright new skin underneath. The pain. Kill. Me. DO NOT TOUCH ME!

    (vader_burn_robots_pick_flesh.jpg.)

    60 hours: Still cannot walk, the wrappings, they do nothing! I smell like a corpse, I dare not shower, dare not wet the thing that has become my nightmare, my master of pain.

    72 hours: Fresh epidermis, merely a sunburn, dare not wrap him again. I fear the wrap for reasons I cannot articulate. I lay naked in bed, legs spread to accept what healing oxygen may come, fearful of raising it’s wrath again.

    96 hours: Mostly new member, thanking both new and forgotten gods, cautious limp. I rejoin mankind.

    • Brave Little Hitachi Wand@feddit.uk
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      2 days ago

      I’m honestly just impressed. Someone out there can almost entirely shed and regrow their tortured pork dagger in 4 days flat, but I still have a twinge in my thumb from a playground accident 34 years ago.

    • lilpatchy2eyes@slrpnk.net
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      2 days ago

      Yup. Happened to me when I started experimenting as a kid. How are you supposed to know what’s safe to use as lube in middle school? :(