I definitively can back that up from personal experience. I tend to be quite good at detecting what emotional state people are in, but not why
Due to certain mental faults I tend to assume or believe that ita because of some error on my part, but that’s often not the case, and I’ve been wrong about it many many times. Assuming I did something wrong when in reality it was something else
Alcoholics also cause this around others. It’s why it’s called ‘the family disease’. Just cuz one person drinks doesnt mean everyone else around them doesnt get affected by it. And it doesn’t matter if they are a happy drunk. Tons of people recovering in alanon because of happy drunks in their life leaving behind the destruction of an illusion to get over and repiece together a functioning adult life.
I definitively can back that up from personal experience. I tend to be quite good at detecting what emotional state people are in, but not why
Due to certain mental faults I tend to assume or believe that ita because of some error on my part, but that’s often not the case, and I’ve been wrong about it many many times. Assuming I did something wrong when in reality it was something else
In one therapy there is this acronym called
QTIP.
Quit taking it personally.
Part of a ‘ten ways to untwist your thinking’
https://www.counselinglibrary.org/images/PDF_Documents/CBT_Handouts/10_Forms_of_Twisted_Thinking.pdf
Hey uh, that second paragraph?
I am not a psychologist, but:
unrequested unprofessional psych evaluation
Thats probably a sign of something like being raised by abusive narcissists.
Your natural instinct is ‘it has to be my fault’?
Yeah.
Because narcissists tell other people its always their fault, its their flaw or poor decision.
Its a form, or aspect or manifestation of hypervigilance.
Because you are so used to some new problem happening that is somehow, your fault or responsibility to fix, or address.
Alcoholics also cause this around others. It’s why it’s called ‘the family disease’. Just cuz one person drinks doesnt mean everyone else around them doesnt get affected by it. And it doesn’t matter if they are a happy drunk. Tons of people recovering in alanon because of happy drunks in their life leaving behind the destruction of an illusion to get over and repiece together a functioning adult life.
Alcoholics like to call this ‘charisma’.
I definitively suffer from hypervigilance, yeah, you’re correct lmao
Well the good news is:
That literally is not your fault.
You can learn to gradually undo some of those tendencies, to some extent.
My lemmy instance has a series of random… header quotes, like flavortext in a game loading screen or something.
One of them, which ironically seems to be an apocryphal, misattirubted quote, but is still a good sentiment nonetheless: