I’ve been seeing poop in a path which is connected to the gates of my house. This has happened 3 times now over 1 or 2 weeks. When I saw the poop first, I thought it must be a dog. But everytime it dries (every 3 or 4 days), a mysterious pile of new shit is dropped on the old shit. It’s (very) black, very smelly and in the EXACT same spot!! Right on top of the dried shit!! I’m convinced it’s a human being. I’ve decided I’m gonna hide in some bushes nearby and catch them doing the deed. But what do I do then? What if they don’t care and continue doing it? How do I make them regret it without getting into trouble? It’d be nice if they couldn’t tell it’s me.
Motion activated sprinkler. Works if it’s human or animal, something like The first result on Amazon, just an example not an endorsement off the particular product
Do you live in an area with lots of homeless? That seems most likely who would do that. Or some mentally deranged person. Either way, be careful with those types of people.
You could try the photography/videography aspect to bring them to justice or the classic scare and/or beat them with a baseball bat
Super soaker full of pepper spray/oil. Spray them in the any sensitive exposed area.
As someone who’s actually had this problem (in an urban area) and actually solved it, here’s what I did: Changed the shape of my fence so the amount of privacy the serial shitter was afforded was significantly reduced. Changed the position of my gate so that it no longer opened near the convex corner the shitter favored. They found a better spot and moved on.
As someone who’s actually had this problem (in an urban area) and actually solved it
That’s honestly quite remarkable
Can you install a trail cam ?
Or just poop in that spot to show dominance!
Is size the only factor in asserting dominance, or does smelliness play into it as well? Do you have any diet recommendations?
I’d like to inform you that for shit matters there’s /c/[email protected].
Just… How many people are having the exact same problem??
A shitload
slowclap
You think someone is shitting outside in a public space and your plan is to surprise them in the act?
Form the annals of what could possibly go wrong.
I don’t know where you live, but I am going to assume it is suburban or rural, is it possible to light the area?
No it’s not possible. What could go wrong tho
You could meet the type of person to chronically shit on a public path
Or some fussy neighbor who doesn’t like OP’s lawn ornaments.
Jump out of the bushes while furiously masturbating. Scream at them to “KEEP GOING I AM ALMOST THERE PINCH OFF THAT HAWT STEAMING LOAF DADDY”. Pretty sure one of two things will happen: Either they freak out, pull up, and high tail it out of there never to be seen again, or they lock eyes with you and maintain that connection through a slight squint and some grunts. Make sure you record it and post this to the internet.
one of two things will happen
So both outcomes are a win in this solution.
I second this, you gotta out weird them, I suggest covering yourself with peanut butter while doing what they said.
I don’t think it’s possible to outweird someone who shits in public
Skill issue.
Well, we know who’s house we can shit out front of now!
Keep going, I’m almost there
Do you want squirrels? Cause that’s how you get squirrels.
yes, yes I do! I need them for my Squirrel Navy.
What’s the maximum amount of time you could tolerate hiding in the bushes with spiders & bugs, unsure when/if the serial shitter might ever return? Would you be willing to hunker down in the spider bug cold pokey bushes all night long & all the next day, and on day 3 at 4:42am you finally catch the shitter in the act? Will you have no tent? No sleeping bag? Snacks? Activities to pass time? Do you not have a job & duties to attend to, this wouldn’t interrupt your week at all? Probably much easier to install a camouflaged motion-sensitive camera to capture the shitter. Then what you do? Turn the camera footage into the police.
Damn, you’re right. Idk when he’s gonna show up. As for cameras, I’d have to buy them online and by the time they arrive, vacation would be over.
Wait, this is on a vacation? Who cares lol it’ll be over soon enough
Noo? I’ll still be living there when I get back from work each day
You’re in a developing country (I’m a pedant and third world means not allied with the US or the USSR, which doesn’t exist anymore). You’re on vacation. You won’t be there much longer. Leave an envelope with $20 in it and a note that says “Stop shitting here and have this with our blessing. Shit here again and we will follow you, take the money, and beat you. We are watching”
Or don’t. Whatever. You’re not there long enough to receive a package from Amazon, so why stress about it? A street sitter has a lot more problems in life than someone who can go on vacation. Their continued existence is probably it’s own punishment
Oh here’s an idea.
- Cover the pile with sand/Kitty litter.
- Get a little flag of the local football team, or whatever the local favorite is, and plant it in the sandy shit pile.
- ???
- Profit.
What does it matter if it’s on vacation? I still live here and will continue to do so once my holidays are over, it’s my home and i don’t need a serial shitter around it.
I didn’t know about the third world country thing, thanks for telling me.
When people read “on vacation” they think you’re at an Airbnb or something, not just off work at your house.
Print out the Lemmy thread where the guy needed to hold his shot in for 5 days and leave it neatly folded next to the poop.
You’re telling us more about yourself than you might intend.
Oh you really think so? Go ahead and describe everything about me & my life as best as you can, solely based on what I said up there.
Tsk, you just told us SO much more. scribbles notes
I think the comment you are getting worked up over was intended for the OP, Karl.
And what did I tell that I didn’t intend to?
Raccoons like to poop on top of their old dried poop. raccoon poop looks a lot like human poop. especially when more than one animal is using that latrine.
in the forest they often do it where two trails meet.
think about that before jumping out of a bush.
and if it was a raccoon don’t handle that poop please. call animal control.
[edit to add] if you want some nightmares; google ‘pinworm human infection’ and then stay far away from raccoon droppings.
I’m from a place in an asian country where there is generally no wild animals. Wild animals are a spectacle here. There is dogs tho
Follow them home, yeah, but then just get a shovel. Then every time they shit on your sidewalk, scoop it up and put it on their own porch.
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Could be a fox? 🦊
Buy a camera. Catch them in the act. Call police. Have them arrested. Sadly this is the only way to deal with people (assuming it’s a human doing it).
When you call police to deal with a problem, you now have 2 problems.
I have never once thought “Thank goodness the police are here!”.
I did, once. Drove a rental car and someone bumped into me, putting a scratch in the fender.
The rental’s policy was that every accident, no matter how small, needs to be looked at by police for compliance and insurance reasons.
It took them an hour to get there, and I was glad to see them, cause it meant I could finally drive away after they were done with their useless song and dance.
This is true, especially where I live
Either this, or use the camera and set up a sprinkler.
lol.your suggestion is to install a bidet.
Wow… you’re right!
Edit - had not thought of it that way. Hahaha
That would definitely catch the fox and warn it off. Might even deter the human too if they have wet runny shit running down their legs. Great idea!
there is no wild animals here, except dogs.
I don’t know. Shitting on a footpath is pretty wild.
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In 2 days time on Ask Lemmy:
There’s some creep hiding in bushes in a path which is connected to the gates of my neighbours house. What do I do??
In 3 days:
My neigbors are doing this weird fetish thing where one openly shits on the ground and the other one watches from the safety of his shrubbery. What do I do??
In 2 days time on Ask Lemmy:
There’s some creep hiding in bushes in a path which is connected to the gates of my neighbours house where I usually shit at. What do I do??
FTFY
Uhh not shit ig? Lol
Follow them home and shit in front of their house
Lmfao
take a bigger shit on their shit. assert your dominance.
They’d probably love that lol
Take a photo with a flash. Call them a sick bastard and walk away.
If it happens again, post the photo on every street light and sign post around the neighborhood.Post to Lemmy as an update jk
