I just want to play missions where I drive slowly behind a car. Or missions where I fail for breathing too hard. I’m tired of playing games with open ended objectives. I hate games where I have a bunch of guns, cars, and helicopters and then I’m able to use that stuff in the story.

Rockstar are the best at making cinematic experiences play out like Dance Dance Revolution. I just want to be told what buttons to push, where to stand, what tools to use, so I can see the funny people do funny things.

Fuck these delays I need my gigaslop polished and squeezed out now!