You’re allowed to be stealth. There’s nothing wrong with that. I will never be stealth. Neither will a lot of trans women. Do you see how I can’t just have a quiet life alone and have transness be an incidental detail about me? You’re kind of talking like being stealth is like pushing a button and BAM you just magically conform perfectly to cisgender society and are forever invisible.
That’s not the common trans experience. Most trans women are visibly trans, and most of us will always be visibly trans.
Your experience was at a time when there was no trans visibility. The average population was entirely ignorant of trans people. Being trans was not a “normal okay thing to be”. So yeah no kidding the people you met were older and depressed. Have you ever thought about why they felt that way? Do you think they transitioned knowing their communities their families and their societies would accept them? Do you think they saw trans women out and about in the real world visibly living happy lives even though they’re trans?
I’m sorry you had that experience. But you still don’t seem to understand what trans visibility is. We aren’t cisgender. We never will be cisgender no matter what we do. We will always be trans. Non-binary people also exist and are also trans. They will always be visible and have to explain their identities to others. Trans visibility means seeing trans people at the grocery store. It means seeing trans people at the gym. It means having trans co-workers, trans family members, it means having trans politicians and trans people working in public facing roles. Trans visibility means being trans is okay. That being trans is an okay thing to be. That you can be happy and be visibly trans.
Cisgender society has to come to an end. Society has to embrace gender diverse people and normalize them. You don’t have to be visibly trans if you don’t want to and are capable of going stealth. I for instance can’t do that. Do you understand that? No matter what I do I will always for the rest of my life be a visible trans woman. Do I not deserve happiness too? Should I be forced to hide who I am because I don’t pass? Cause you’re coming off like that’s how you perceive non-passing depresses trans people. Passing is a privilege. If you have it and want to conform to cisgender society by all means. That’s your prerogative. Do as you please. I can’t do that. I will never be able to do that. It’s either detransition and pretend to be a man or go outdoors visibly being a trans woman. I will never go back to pretending to be a man. So I will be visibly trans, and live the best happiest life I can so that trans people who see me know that it is possible to find joy in being trans.
You’re allowed to be stealth. There’s nothing wrong with that. I will never be stealth. Neither will a lot of trans women. Do you see how I can’t just have a quiet life alone and have transness be an incidental detail about me? You’re kind of talking like being stealth is like pushing a button and BAM you just magically conform perfectly to cisgender society and are forever invisible.
That’s not the common trans experience. Most trans women are visibly trans, and most of us will always be visibly trans.
Your experience was at a time when there was no trans visibility. The average population was entirely ignorant of trans people. Being trans was not a “normal okay thing to be”. So yeah no kidding the people you met were older and depressed. Have you ever thought about why they felt that way? Do you think they transitioned knowing their communities their families and their societies would accept them? Do you think they saw trans women out and about in the real world visibly living happy lives even though they’re trans?
I’m sorry you had that experience. But you still don’t seem to understand what trans visibility is. We aren’t cisgender. We never will be cisgender no matter what we do. We will always be trans. Non-binary people also exist and are also trans. They will always be visible and have to explain their identities to others. Trans visibility means seeing trans people at the grocery store. It means seeing trans people at the gym. It means having trans co-workers, trans family members, it means having trans politicians and trans people working in public facing roles. Trans visibility means being trans is okay. That being trans is an okay thing to be. That you can be happy and be visibly trans.
Cisgender society has to come to an end. Society has to embrace gender diverse people and normalize them. You don’t have to be visibly trans if you don’t want to and are capable of going stealth. I for instance can’t do that. Do you understand that? No matter what I do I will always for the rest of my life be a visible trans woman. Do I not deserve happiness too? Should I be forced to hide who I am because I don’t pass? Cause you’re coming off like that’s how you perceive non-passing depresses trans people. Passing is a privilege. If you have it and want to conform to cisgender society by all means. That’s your prerogative. Do as you please. I can’t do that. I will never be able to do that. It’s either detransition and pretend to be a man or go outdoors visibly being a trans woman. I will never go back to pretending to be a man. So I will be visibly trans, and live the best happiest life I can so that trans people who see me know that it is possible to find joy in being trans.