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This is a quote from a horror story. I’m annoyed that I can’t seem to find it with a search, or remember the title or author. It’s a good story. It goes on like this, iterating through more and more awful Nandos-based scenarios without ever losing the Chav speech patterns.
Hmm. Maybe the quote came first. There’s a lot more hits for it than for the story.
Never thought I’d see the day that Australian English sticks closer to proper English than British English
mate ‘struth eh? One arvo your pissing around with your mates at JB browsing heaps and you might fancy a durry and flat white from HJs but ol’ mate Dazza who’s a shitcunt and the PM of piss-takes will be like 'bruz let’s have a cheeky nandos" and you’ll reckon “Mad. Let’s fang it”
Many British English dialects are pretty much unintelligible to people who only know standard accents.
Aye, appen.
I’m calling foul. There’s no way an absolute ledge would call it “the Spoons”. It’s just “Spoons”.
Not that I’d drink there, mind. Fucking Brexit Arms.
… but there’s only one spoons in their locality
There’s only one Spoons near me. It’s called Spoons.
And all this time I thought it was that one kick Will Osprey does.
The brits no longer get to claim the English language.
sketti and meatballs
Neither do the yanks!
- That’s redneck speak, not Yankee speak. Yanks say things like “fuggetabout it”, and “Hey! I’m wolkin’ 'ere!”
- Rednecks are mostly confined to the South-Eastern part of the country. Yanks are in the Northeast. Most Americans are neither Yanks nor Rednecks.
Yep. We’re 50 countries in a trench coat. We have about a dozen dialects, many occasionally incomprehensible to others. My favorite example of this is “finnabouttabe.”
The English language itself is like nine languages in a trench coat. It’s mainly German/Dutch & French, with some sprinkling of Latin and various other romantic languages.
And most Brits are not chavs or MadLads, yet this post exists.
as the only ones capable of proper English, the English language is passed on to the Dutch.
The might as well take English. They just sound drunk when they speak their own language.
(To Germans…apparently)
That one was always weird to me as a native German speaker. Dutch has very prominent sounds (mostly the G) that aren’t really present in standard German or English that remind me much more of sore throat or coughing than being drunk.
Spaghetti is an Italian word, so it’s fine!
Translation:
It is hard to explain my friend.
It is as if one day you’ll be with your friends, browsing in JD Sports (sports shop) and you fancy a curry from the “curry club” menu at Wetherspoons (a nationwide chain of drinking establishments that serve “pub” style food).
However your friend who is male, called Callum, who is also an absolute legend and the epitome of banter (friendly and humerous conversation of a non-serious manner) will say “Brethren (an old fashioned way of referring to a friend you consider a brother) let’s have a naughty Nandos (a chain restaurant that specialises in Peri Peri style chicken) instead”
Consequently you will think “Most excellent, let’s go there and excel at the process of ordering and eating food”
What the hell does this say
It is as if one day you’re in the mall, and you feel a little hungry for tikka masala, but your friend who is an absolute legend and your brother, asks if you want chicken tandoori instead and you say “haan let us eat it”
Unsolicited peer review time…
browsing in JD Sports (sports shop)
*trainer shop, let’s be realistic
from the “curry club” menu
The Thursday specials, to be specific.
called Callum
*Calum
Brethren (an old fashioned way of referring to a friend you consider a brother)
This comes from Jamaican Patois, it’s not just a memetic imitation of Early Modern English.
No further notes.
Cheers bruv.
Im not your bruv, fam
I ain’t your fam, blud.
I ain’t no blud, mandem
Ok, now you’re just writing random strings of letters…
Mandem’s basically in American English as well, we just say it a little different. It’s a shortening of man and them, as in your boys. As Vince Staples says “know a change gone come like Obama 'n them say, but they’re shooting every day round my mama 'n them way”.
I need you to do the subtitles when I watch British shows.
Hit me up fam, I’ll do you a solid.
Absolute ledge
nah mean
Dam, I really thought naughty nandos was day drinking (or drinking at a otherwise less than appropriate time).
You’ve translated but original question of what a cheeky Nandos is remains. So cheeky translates to naughty? And naughty is a type of Nandos food? Is there non-naughty Nandos? Or are they eating it in a naughty way? Or is Nandos somehow naughtier than curry from Wetherspoons?
My apologies no it isn’t a type of food there, it is naughty in the terms of being indulgent or impulsive and is more of a turn of phrase that is often used in “lad culture” over here, which is sort of like a parallel to a “frat bro” in US culture. Think obnoxious, loud sometimes aggressive groups of guys.
Cheeky in this sense was in the past more often used in terms of alcoholic beverages so often people would use it to say things like “Do you fancy getting a cheeky pint after work”. More modern usage it is often used to refer to food as well as drink and in the case of “cheeky nandos” will quite often be used by aforementioned “lads” when they have already had a few drinks and want to go and indulge in some chicken before going out and getting shit faced for the night.
Tldr: It is a turn of phrase used to mean indulging in an impulsive meal from the restaurant chain “Nandos”
Oh, so it’s like kebab, something solid to fill you fast so you can get properly shitfaced.
Yeh pretty much -
I really hate this menu. Decimals should never be implied. I’m not paying £149 for a chicken.
That isn’t an English menu, the prices are in R which I think is South African Rand and not Pounds. It was more to illustrate the type of food available.
It is in fact Rand, and TIL .za is the TLD for South Africa
Or zeros left off…
I assume it means 14.90. ?
Is there some kind of spice level:naughtiness correlation?
A cheeky monkey would be some sort of bum-looker, I reckon.
Nando’s is a South African multinational fast casual restaurant chain that specialises in Portuguese flame-grilled, peri-peri style chicken. The name is derived from a nickname for the male given name Fernando in reference to one of the company’s founders, as in Fernando’s restaurant. Founded in Johannesburg in 1987.
I think the big point of confusion is why it’s cheeky to go to this restaurant.
As the other commentator said, it’s a bit of a “treat yoself” moment for a fast food chain thing that’s surprisingly good.
Though, when I was there, nobody actually called it a cheeky nandos, it was just “let’s go to Nandos”.
Then it wasn’t a cheeky visit!
“cheeky” is a bit like a little treat. Something you shouldn’t do, but isn’t a big deal
Because you were going to get curry.
Wizard.
The drunks want chicken. S’not Italian.
Basically yeah
It’s a quick in-and-out kebab place. You’re not necessarily getting a normal meal, youre just popping in for a quick bite of chicken
Cheeky = playfully naughty more or less
I feel like it’s one of those things where as a native speaker you really should be able to understand it but if you’re ESL it’s fucking nightmare zone of slang and strong accents.
I’m American and living in the UK, it’s just as hard as if I was ESL
Give yourself some credit: it is ESL
I speak many Englishes
I just sent this to a couple of British friends of mine to translate
I’m British, let me do you the honour:
“Gesib, hit is earfoð þæt to secgenne. Hƿilum þū eart mid þīnum ƿinuman ƿandigende beforan JD’s ceapstōre, and þū miht ƿilnian þæs cires-clybbe æt þǣm Spōnum, ac þīn gefera Calum – þæt is ānhoga and hlāford beþēahte drycra – þæt ealdor of Banterbury, ƿill secgan: ‘Brōðras, ƿuton gān to þǣm scēadan Nando’s.’ And þū ƿilt secgan: ‘Þæt is tōp! ƿuton hit tōsmiþian!’”
S-tier shit post.
That clears it up perfectly! Thank you!
“archbishop of banterbury” really got me. Top shelf.
This has been a thing on British-speaking dating app profiles for at least 10 years to the point that I absolutely hate it now.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Genuine question, is this hard to understand as an American? I’m a non native English speaker who’s met British people before and there’s, like, 2 references in there I didn’t catch, but otherwise, you can figure, no?
I had trouble with the references to JD, 'Spoons, and Nandos because I’m not familiar with UK retail and restaurant chains.
I mean, the context tells you that the latter two are places where you can get food, that’s about all that’s relevant
Curry isn’t ubiquitous stateside. It would not be difficult to find an American who doesn’t understand “curry” is food.
Without that reference, those latter two places could be pretty much anything.
why is his mate an arch bishop?
Archbishop of Canterbury, but “banter” instead of “Canter” because he’s good at banter
oooh that’s funny
Cuz he’s an absolute ledge, brevs.
got is bants pants on
Cor
Isn’t it just eating at nandos? Like that was the least confusing part of this whole conversation to me
I had some colleagues from UK, who talked like that from time to time between themselves. God knows how many cheeky beers we had.
I don’t know why people bang on about Nando’s, it’s not even that good.
I understood all of this but it was still quite hard to read because lots of people talk like this but nobody writes that way.
The last time I was at a Nando’s I thought to try my hand at mild flirting, it somehow worked and the lady seemed interested, however before I could get her number I started getting extreme abdominal cramps and spent half the visit on the toilet… Praying to every god I could think of.
She said she’d like to see me again. I never went back. It’s just not worth it… Good chicken though.
I love peri peri chicken but Nando’s is among the worst I’ve had. I don’t understand it, either.
