Something I’ve never been that great at is spontaneous conversation. I’m more than capable of public speaking if I’ve prepared something in advance. But if someone asks me something out of the blue, I really struggle to engage in deep conversation. Afterwards I’ll think to myself damn, why didn’t I bring up X or Y?
Half the time I don’t know what to add and I struggle to think of what to say. Sometimes words feel like they’re on the tip of my tongue and I can’t get them out, especially when I’m under pressure. And in group conversations, I find it hard to interject when I do think of a point. By the time a natural break comes along, the conversation has moved on.
I’d love to get better at this. What can I do to improve?
I always had similar troubles as OP, and at the ripe age of 38 or so, I realized I have ADHD. But not the “loud can’t sit still” version, I’m the “bored and sleepy” version, which nobody ever notices.
I have a much easier time talking to other people with similar symptoms. No offense, but to me, normal people just seem to say a lot of words without actually saying anything at all.